Houston News Blog

“This is like David and Goliath, and Victoria is not David,” Reginald McKamie said in the closing argument of the trial he lost this morning. A more accurate comparison would have been “This is like a pretty incompetent attorney with an extremely flimsy case…and Goliath.”

Perhaps the most astounding thing McKamie did this morning was to try to impeach the testimony of a witness he had called yesterday – a witness who actually supported the defense. That was Barbara Shedden, a passenger on the fateful flight, who said she didn’t see an assault take place. Presumably, McKamie had called her to the stand to say otherwise. So this morning, McKamie backpedaled and told the jury there was actually a “blind spot” that would have prevented her from seeing an assault anyway.

So, just to be clear: Instead of simply not bringing up Shedden’s testimony, he actually reminded the jury that his own witness said it never happened while simultaneously asking them to disregard it because she couldn’t have seen it anyway.

Other questionable tactics of McKamie’s included:

That didn't take long.

After a little more than two hours of deliberation, the jury came back unanimously in favor of Victoria Osteen just now, forever cementing the right of rich white preachers's wives to big-time flight attendants all over America.

We'll update later with more details, but just know this: Victoria's a winner.

-- Richard Connelly

The Osteen case is finally in the hands of the jury, 12 noble and true citizens of Harris County who had to sit through days of sometimes mind-numbing testimony.

There was one last bit of torture this morning, though -- Reginald McKamie, attorney for flight attendant Sharon Brown, gave a bizarre, baffling and unintentionally hilarious closing statement.

One that included pictures.

The world’s most ridiculous trial continued today with two dynamo attorneys displaying radically different styles: Rusty Hardin, representing defendant Victoria Osteen, chose to impeach the plaintiff on the stand by presenting factual evidence that contradicted her claims, and by generally highlighting how prima facie foolish Sharon Brown’s claims are.

Playing yin to Hardin’s yang (or possibly the other way around), Reginald McKamie opted for the ol’ "call a witness you never even talked to before and hope they say good stuff" strategy, a brilliant tactic taught in most Ivy League law schools. In this instance, it was a passenger on that fateful December 2005 flight in which Osteen supposedly went all Rowdy Roddy Piper on Brown’s ass.

Barbara Shedden testified that there was no way an assault like the one Brown alleges could have occurred without Shedden seeing it. Shedden also said she never heard Osteen scream or saw her touch Brown. She described their encounter as a “power of the wills,” which we assume is a courtroom-friendly way of saying “two stubborn jackasses bitching and moaning.”

It was not a good morning for Continental flight attendant Sharon Brown, in her quixotic quest to get a measly 10 percent of Victoria Osteen's net worth.

But that's the kind of thing to expect when you've filed an idiotic lawsuit against someone who hires Rusty Hardin as their attorney.

Brown was pretty much eviscerated on the stand today; as if that was not enough, her attorney continued to make the Osteens' case for them.

Although not explicitly stating he wanted to recreate a scene from the 1975 classic Switchblade Sisters, Rusty Hardin today had Victoria Osteen and Sharon Brown stand beside each other so the jury could compare their height and weight.

Hardin claimed this was so jurors could better visualize the kind of ass-whupping Brown says Osteen meted out in December 2005, but there was anticipation in the air as the packed court braced for a full-on cat-fight.

Osteen clearly had both the height and weight advantage – and Brown also pointed out that while she was wearing heels today, she might have been wearing flats on the day in question. (Brown said it would be too difficult to remove her shoes for the demonstration). But Brown clearly knows the layout of airplanes better and could have used that to her advantage to foil unruly passengers, like Harrison Ford in Air Force One.

The epic lawsuit between Victoria Osteen and Continental Air Lines flight attendant Sharon Brown is on a lunch break, but from all appearances it will be later this afternoon when defense attorney Rusty Hardin does his feasting.

Hardin only got to the very beginning of his cross-examination of Brown before the break, and already the flight attendant was showing signs of breaking from the composed, rehearsed character she showed when being questioned by her own attorney.

Two things were made abundantly clear at the Victoria Osteen trial today: one is that Sharon Brown deserves millions upon millions of dollars for being attacked by a rabidly out-of-control harpie; and the other is that there is simply no greater attorney in Houston – nay, in world history – than Reginald McKamie.

During an afternoon consumed by watching the videotaped testimony of Continental flight attendant Verssie Ray and the live human testimony of Osteen (an afternoon that was by no means boring, monotonous, mind-numbingly dull or lethally tranquilizing) McKamie proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that his client, Sharon Brown, suffered untold nightmares from a monster cloaked in the garb of a preacher’s wife.

This afternoon produced the moment everyone was waiting for: the testimony of Osteen herself.

A collective gasp filled the room as two bailiffs, armed with cattle prods, wheeled the straitjacketed Osteen in on a dolly, her face obscured by a Hannibal Lecter face-mask. One man fainted and a woman nearly crushed her wailing infant into her bosom. After the guards carefully removed Osteen’s encumbrances, she raised her right claw and promised to tell the whole truth and to not make any sudden movements.

They've broken for lunch at the Trial of the Century, with Joel Osteen His Own Self on the stand.

No real fireworks occurred as he was questioned by plaintiff's attorney Reginald McKamie. But the preacher, whose wife was accused of being a racist yesterday, actually played the "one of my best friends is black" card.

Osteen said one of his closest friends growing up in Humble was African-American. Oddly enough, though, Osteen didn't seem to know that "Humble" is pronounced with a silent H, so maybe he was making the whole thing up.

The best moment so far: McKamie asked Osteen "if you would characterize your church as a very profitable family business."

That brought defense attorney Rusty Hardin out of his seat.

Post-traumatic stress disorder – it’s not just for combat veterans and victims of violence anymore!

Ever been shoved? Talked down to at work? We’re not saying you’ve got an excuse to go all Martin Sheen-punching-a-mirror-in-a-Saigon-hotel-room crazy, but you may be entitled to a sweet settlement. At least that’s what Sharon Brown, the Continental Airlines flight attendant suing Victoria Osteen for 10 percent of the co-pastor’s net worth, is hoping.

Shayna Lee, the psychiatrist Brown happened to hire a week after she gave her deposition last year, testified that Brown does indeed have PTSD, which has led to her suffering symptoms of depression and, um, hemorrhoids. This resulted from Osteen disrespecting Brown’s authority in a way her attorney, Reginald McKamie, characterized as racist.