Shocking news from the college football world today: Texas A&M's Johnny Manziel is "stepping away" from Twitter.
Illustration by Monica Fuentes
Financial analysts are divided as to whether Twitter will be able to withstand this defection and still somehow stay alive. College football fans are in a panic knowing they won't get the chance to watch Johnny Football embarrass himself on the Internet as only a BMOC Aggie can.
@JManziel2 has entertained fans and foes with tales of Cabo, Mardi Gras, and various NFL games -- key aspects, no doubt, of coach Kevin Sumlin's demanding recommended offseason workout program.
For now, though, we are left with this poignant, trenchant farewell message: