Kinky Friedman Campaign Makes One Last Play for Houston Voters


With the state primary runoff election only a month away, Cleve Hattersley, who is steering Richard "Kinky" Friedman's run for Texas Agriculture Commissioner, says the big push is on in Harris County, where Friedman did poorly in the March primary.

"Harris is the only major county we got whupped in during the primary, so we are focusing on it," says Hattersley.

Unknown Cleburne insurance man Jimmy Ray Hogan out-polled Friedman in Harris County, pulling 42 percent of the vote to Friedman's 33 percent. He also ran ahead of Friedman statewide.

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Survey: Houston's Best Porn Search Terms Include 'Massage,' 'Lesbian,' 'Teen,' 'Ebony'

Photo by Tara Angkor Hotel
This is about as risque as it gets.
Earlier this month, the research and analysis team over at looked into the online porn-viewing habits of red states and blue states. Our state's porn-lovin' habits ranked us fourth among other red states at 139 page views per capita (9.33 pages viewed each of those visits). That put us behind Arizona with its 140 page views and well beneath Kansas, which loves its porn at 194 page views.

But that wasn't telling us enough about local porn-viewing habits, so we dug a little deeper into Pornhub's SFW analytics blog and found their list of Houston's favorite search terms published last month. Truth be told, we were expecting something a little more exciting.

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Website for Married People Looking for Extra Booty Ranks Houston

Website for extramarital booty calls ranks Houston, again.
There's probably a marriage counseling session going on right now where one of the spouses is talking about porn sites she found on her computer's web browser. Maybe there are some texting conversations that are clearly over the line on another spouse's smartphone, or a dress with some strange stains that appear somewhere under the neckline.

If any of that is going on in Houston, then it's probably happening in Sugar Land or West University, the top two spots on's recent survey of cheaters. You see, the website, created 12 years ago, keeps itself in the media by doing these surveys of its user base in particular cities and countries. Houston-area memberships grew by about 72 percent in the past two years to 160,000, according to the report.

Roy Wooten, a local marriage counselor, said he's heard about the website in sessions he conducts at Jersey Village counseling center Shield-Bearer. "In my opinion, sites like add to the disintegration of the family. Someone who's thinking about cheating has an easier time," he said.

As to the locations that regularly pop up on this survey, places with median incomes in the six figures, the demands of a commuting work life take their toll.
"Wealthier families are emotionally bankrupt," Wooten told Hair Balls. "They spend all their time commuting or running the kids around. They're not connected to each other."

AshleyMadison is that Pandora's box, only you should probably stock up on condoms if you're going to go open it.

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A Homeless Life With Cats on Allen's Landing (Video)

Photos by Daniel Kramer

As you walk along the banks of Buffalo Bayou near Allen's Landing, the first thing noticeable about Percy Lyons, the subject of this week's feature on Houston's hidden homeless, is not his camp or his cots, but the cats.

In fact, the 16 cats that live up in Percy's camp are the only thing that may clue you into his whereabouts. It seems a plausible idea that someone living high up under the bridge where we spotted those collared, well-fed cats running around, but from the sidewalk below, it is impossible to tell.

It's impossible to tell where anyone's living in the area, really.

Continue, to see a video of Percy's cat camp on Buffalo Bayou.

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Tweeting and Policing

@HoustonPolice on Twitter
Don't expect #HPDtweetalong to be like "Cops" on Twitter.
We were hoping for the social media equivalent to "Cops" when we found out the Houston Police Department was going to live tweet another patrol.
This isn't the first time they've taken to social media from the passenger seat of a squad car, back in September the department did another live tweeting event for a night patrol.

Police Officer Angela Douglas, a 16 year veteran of the police department handles social media exclusively. "It's kind of the trend to use social media to connect with citizens. Give them a glimpse into what an 8-hour patrol is like," Douglas said.

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Facebook's Paper App Is Stylish and Interesting, but Has Critical Flaws

A cool concept, but not a replacement for the standard Facebook app.
For years, Facebook's mobile development has been oddly haphazard. From the painfully inconsistent upgrades to its flagship app to the random release of various apps for an array of different needs (Pages, Photos, etc), it has felt more like the mobile team at FB was divided up into about 20 different divisions all operating with complete autonomy. Most recently, they came up with Paper, a stylish new app designed to leverage shared links and provide a more news-based interface for the social network. Even the name echoes the idea that this is like reading a newspaper, not a social media website.

The first and most obvious change with Paper over the traditional Facebook app is how it looks. Built to take advantage of upgrades in iOS 7 (this is only available for iPhone currently), it has a modern look and feel with a smooth workflow. The main screen serves as a cooler looking Timeline with updates split between a lower series of panels that look like flash cards and a larger space above that has more graphic content. Like most apps, you swipe through the spaces to see various updates and touch them to get more info.

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Crosby Student Uses Twitter to Get Texans Cheerleader for Prom Date; Some Advice

Twitter: @BIG_MIKE_71
These two are set to steal the spotlight at Crosby High's prom.
I wouldn't want to be a girl going to Crosby High School's prom this year. I mean, no matter how hard you try to look good, you'll have to rest your hate because all eyes will likely be on the adult blond who happens to be a professional cheerleader.

Since Thursday a Crosby High School football player has been trying to collect 10,000 retweets so the Texans cheerleader would join him at his prom. We're still not sure if this was some social media marketing trick, but senior lineman Micheal Ramirez sealed the deal by early Friday afternoon.

We won't be too obvious here and tell you what our 18-year-old selves would be thinking about taking a 20-year-old woman to a prom. Instead, we'll offer some advice to Mike, things he can use as conversation starters, and hope this prom is one of those memories that live on for the great-grandkids to hear about.
Here are a few things about Caitlyn we thought he should know:

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Louie Gohmert: Black People Won Their Freedom to Discriminate Against Gay People

Louie Gohmert, always full of interesting opinions.

Louie Gohmert is always coming up with, shall we say, interesting ideas. But his latest brain baby takes the cake. According to Gohmert, African Americans should oppose gay marriage because they won the right to oppose things with the Civil Rights movement.

The East Texas Congressman used his time on a radio show Wednesday to expand on his views that African Americans should take up arms against gay marriage on the basis of "religious freedom." His reasoning? Well, according to Gohmert black people fought in the Civil Rights movement for their own freedoms, leaving them free to now fight against legalizing gay marriage, and to potentially discriminate against gay people specifically because they are gay, a la Arizona.

Gohmert was interviewed by conservative radio host Janet Mefferd. The duo had a nice chat, as reported by Raw Story, about how black people in general, and preachers in particular, have been surprised to find that people are drawing correlations between one group of people being arbitrarily denied certain rights and another group of people being similarly denied basic rights. Yup, makes no sense at all.

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Another Teacher Wins in Sexting Case

Photo by Pro Juventute
Sexting with a teacher is fine, as long as it's close to PG-rated.
Yet again a Texas court has absolved a teacher for being pervy with a student, thanks to a court ruling last year connected to a Houston case.

A Fort Worth teacher in this 30s was let off the hook recently and the case dismissed after being arrested for getting all PG/PG-13 with a student at Baxter Junior High.

According to the Star-Telegram, the cell phone text convos went something like this:

"[T]alking about if either of them walked around naked in their homes, keeping the relationship secret until the victim graduates, dreams that each of them had about each other, virginity and showing restraint while they are in the classroom," the affidavit says.
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Texas Man, an Ex-Wall Street Type, Shows Us How to Use Twitter

Screenshot from
@GSElevator, from the mind of a guy from Texas.
A 34-year-old guy from Texas has been shaking things up for a few years on social media, causing Goldman Sachs to try to out someone within its own ranks for creating a Twitter account (with more than a half-million followers) full of comments from the point of view of that Wall Street life.

For anyone who still thinks Twitter is a waste of time, you're right. But don't underestimate its ability to build a fan base and score a book deal. We're hoping maybe some clever guy or gal with knowledge of our local conglomerates can set up a Twitter account and make funny jokes to take us inside the minds of people in the energy industry.

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