Illustration by Al Cameron

Did Hotze miss his true musical calling?

We were stoked to hear that Republican activist Steven Hotze -- a physician who once extolled the virtues of 19th century snake oil such as colloidal silver and who belongs to a hardcore Christian sect that believes doctors shouldn't provide medical services on the Sabbath -- had recorded some anti-Obamacare jams.

His auto-tuned voice drops science along the lines of "Texas should be free again, it should be an independent nation" over a spare but pulsating piano-bass-and-drum track that strikes us as something you might hear in Hell's waiting room.

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Photo by Joshua Justice.

Be honest -- you didn't even know they had anything other than beer in Shiner.

In these highly charged political times. it's easy to forget that for the most part, the average American is fairly apathetic when it comes to politics. Oh, there may be causes he or she cares about and politicians he or she despises, but when it comes to actually going out and voting...well, that just sounds like a lot of work.

Last Saturday elections were held across our great state, and for the most part they were fairly quiet and uneventful affairs. Some people won, others lost and a few are getting ready for runoff elections.

It was your typical election night, or at least it would have been if not for the towns of Shiner and Lytle, which decided to spice things up and see which community could have a more absurd school board election result.

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OMG, a political candidate eats food -- don't vote for her!

Houston City Council District I candidate Graci Garces is calling for opponent Ben Mendez's apology after Mendez -- or someone with his campaign -- allegedly e-mail-blasted a photo of....um, Garces enjoying a meal at a restaurant.

"I was appalled that Ben Mendez and his campaign would distribute a photo of me that is intended to bully, harass and discriminate," Garces explained in her statement.

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Good enough for Obama, not for Proof Patio & Bar.

Planned Parenthood's quarterly "Cocktails For A Cause" get-together last Tuesday had some extra star power -- Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown University law student famously called a slut by Rush Limbaugh for daring to speak her mind. What the event didn't have was a venue, after the bar that had agreed to host it mysteriously backed out at the last minute.

The trendy Proof Patio & Bar, above the even trendier Reef restaurant in Midtown, initially said it would love to host the usually low-key event. (Hey, 100 people on a Tuesday night -- why not?)

But the day before the event, Proof management called Planned Parenthood and backed out.

See Also:
- Rick Perry's War On Planned Parenthood Suffers Setback (Updated)
- In Midst of Komen Ruckus, Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast Has Rare Leadership Change
- Planned Parenthood: Punched in the Uterus by Misguided Texas Senate

"It was a logistical issue," a manager murmured when Hair Balls called.

Logistical issue? You're a bar, it's Tuesday so you'll probably be dead without the event, there's 40 acres of parking across the street, the weather was nice so the patio would be usable. So what, you were out of tonic water?

Some people couldn't help wondering if the presence of protesters -- even the small number that may show up for such a PP event -- scared off management of Proof or one of the nearby places.

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A gay-rights group is trying to draw attention by shutting down a key Austin intersection this rush hour.

GetEQUAL TX is sitting in the intersection, protesting the lack of legislative movement on an antidiscrimination bill.

"We've already called these senators, petitioned them and had conversations with them to explain why this bill is important," said Tiffani Bishop of GetEQUAL TX. "We are down to 19 days left in the session and they still haven't moved on this bill."

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I got a message for your FEMA Camps, Mr. President.

Sometimes, silence truly is deafening. Rick Perry spends an awful lot of time engaging anyone who will listen around the country on why they ought to move to Texas. It's good for business. We got lots o' guns. We let you live the way you want to live. We don't have no dad-gum income taxes. We're just right simple folk who want your money and your business.

He'll also offer his opinions on Medicare, personal freedom, religion and, especially, guns. He'll talk about that stuff until he's blue in the face...or in his case red, given his political leanings. But when it comes to President Obama's visit to Texas this week, mum's the word. Well, not exactly. Perry deferred to his spokesperson on this one. In the case of Obama, he'd rather speak softly and carry a big AR-15.

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Jim Williams is the genial grandfather we all want. His voice is soft, and his hands are weathered and firm. He smiles when he speaks. He listens when you respond. He's eager to share his stories, but he's more concerned for your well-being than his remaining days.

Which is why Williams, one of the hundreds of individuals representing arms organizations in this weekend's NRA Convention at the George R. Brown Convention, wants to make sure the Hair Balls audience understands the gravity of what we're facing.

"This is exactly what Hitler did, you remember," says Williams, in town with Superior Arms, and Iowa-based AR-15 manufacturer. "This is how he took over in the 1930s. He told people that if they didn't hand over their guns, they would be shot. And that's like where we're going."

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Some people think this trustee candidate is not to be trusted.

Opponents of Lone Star College School System trustee candidate Kyle Scott are circulating a YouTube clip of a man who won a civil suit accusing Scott of punching him in the face in 2009.

Scott, a professor of political science at the University of Houston, had originally been charged with striking Richard Schey after Schey apparently bumped into Scott's vehicle while pulling into a parking spot in the 2400 block of Times Boulevard. (Scott, who was 32 at the time, was charged with injury to an elderly individual, as Schey was 78.) A grand jury no-billed, and Schey subsequently filed his civil suit.

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In yet another startling display of idiocy from Fred Phelps and the members of the Westboro Baptist "church," they have threatened to protest game five of the first round series between the Houston Rockets and Oklahoma City Thunder Wednesday night because Jason Collins came out as gay this week and Thunder forward Kevin Durant -- among MANY other NBA players -- voiced his support for Collins.

The geniuses behind Westboro have protested everything from the funeral of soldiers and children to concerts and parades. It is honestly hard to imagine just what the hell they are protesting for. It seems to be something about hating homosexuals and thinking the world is ending, but who knows with these morons.

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The excitement was palpable as Governor Rick Perry strode into the House chamber just over two years ago to make his State of the State speech.

Months before the four-term Republican governor declared his run for president, Capitol observers were parsing his every phrase and praising his uncanny political intuitions. This was a man who served up defeat to a sitting U.S. senator, was an ace at retail politics and had found a sweet spot with conservatives: Washington-bashing.

"The differences between Texas values and Washington's self-serving games have never been more stark than they are right now. The federal government's efforts to accumulate more power by bribing us with our own tax dollars are simply unacceptable," Perry told a chamber crowded with elected officials. "We must continue to call attention to the essential truth of the 10th Amendment and commit these 28 words to memory: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

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