13 years too late, as it turns out.

​After much soul searching and agonizing (and in no way an attempt to drum up publicity in advance of his new movie), George Lucas has decided to retire from big budget movies:

George Lucas's cinematic tribute to the Tuskegee Airmen, Red Tails, opens in theaters on Friday, and it might be the last opportunity for fans to see a more commercial Lucas production.

After spending nearly $100 million on the biopic about African-American World War II pilots starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Terrence Howard and David Oyelowo, Lucas tells The New York Times that he's ready to call it quits. From blockbusters, anyway.

Far be it from me to minimize the cinematic contributions of the man who created the Star Wars universe, co-created the character of Indiana Jones and gave the world a much-needed big-screen version of Howard the Duck, but it isn't as if Lucas has been churning out movies like Ridley Scott. His last directorial gig was 2005's Revenge of the Sith. Pre-Red Tails, his last executive producer credit was 2008's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And his last non-Star Wars/Indiana Jones-related project? Radioland Murders, from 1994.

Starring Dream On's Brian Benben, but you probably already knew that.

So while it's nice for Lucas to decide he wants to branch out into smaller films, he -- like Dorothy Gale -- has had the power in him to do it all along. Why? Because according to Forbes, dude has a net worth of $3.2 billion, and the decision to revisit the same two properties over and over (and over and over) again was his and his alone.

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Don't even bother.

​We had some friends over Saturday night, those with children brought theirs, because when you're my age and you want to interact with your age cohort, it's easier to just throw all the rugrats into a room filled with toys and books and let them Battle Royale it out rather than try to coordinate sitter schedules.

As they're wont to do, the men and women separated to discuss things most important to their respective genders. The ladies talked about schools, mutual friends and jobs. The men mostly stuck with subjects in their comfort zone, namely movies and TV. Specifically, we talked about the best way to engineer in our offspring a love for the formative and influential entertainment of our own youth. I believe specific references were made to Star Wars (original trilogy, bien sûr), Looney Tunes, and The Six Million Dollar Man (though I'm probably imagining that one). As the conversation progressed, I realized the discussion was pointless.

Which isn't to say your kids won't develop an affection for the same things you love, just that it'll never be the same for them as it is for you, and you shouldn't try to make it otherwise.

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Who doesn't love a woman with an Uzi? Oh, right: the Palestinians.

​Steve Soderbergh, the director of Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Traffic and The Limey, has always had an experimental streak. This has come out particularly in recent years, with a remake of Solaris, something called The Girlfriend Experience and the (to put it mildly) lackluster disaster epic Contagion. At least I can credit the guy for not making a *fourth* Ocean's movie (yet).

But it's his latest effort, Haywire, coming out next week, that has me honestly intrigued. It stars Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas and Michael Douglas, but it's the movie's rookie lead that I'm really interested in. That would be MMA star Gina Carano.

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​A quick survey of my friends' status updates on Facebook Sunday night confirmed what I'd suspected for weeks: 200% of them were watching something called Downton Abbey.

Season 2 just debuted on Masterpiece Classic on PBS, you see, and people responded with an enthusiasm usually reserved for when some members of the royal family embark upon another loveless cosmetic marriage.

No less a smart-ass than Patton Oswalt was live Tweeting the proceedings, which at first I took for him to be "taking the piss" (as I believe they say in Perfidious Albion), but it turns out he's a pretty big fan himself:

​Reading those, two things come to mind. The first? I have no idea what any of that means. And second, they got to him, too.

Who's "they?" Take your pick: series creator/writer Julian Fellowes? Production company Carnival Films? Television network ITV? A nefarious cabal comprising all three? More importantly, what do they have in common? They're all British. And as we all know, the British hate America.

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"Down on Jump St..." oh, the hell with this.

​The end of the year is always a nice time for going to the theater. Studios are desperate to cram anything they want for "awards consideration" into the final two weeks of December, leading to a larger than usual number of thoughtful, well-made films available for your holiday viewing pleasure.

Yeah, well, Christmas is over, suckers. A brand spanking new year sprawls before us, just like that person you passed out with at your neighbor's NYE party without bothering to get their name. And looks about as appealing.

Sure, there are some promising films on the horizon (The Dark Knight Rises, Lincoln...Resident Evil: Retribution), but like Van Helsing said, we'll have to pass through the bitter water before we reach the sweet.

Steve Van Helsing. Used to play hockey with him.

I'm not saying 2012 is looking any more pungent than your typical year, on the other hand, it was impossible to limit my list of least anticipated to only ten this time around.

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And they said it wouldn't last. Oh, wait...

​Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

Russell Brand stands to land $20 million or more from his divorce from wife Katy Perry, reports said Monday.

The British actor and comedian told New York magazine last year that he and Perry did not sign a prenuptial agreement. And since the two were married in California, he would, according to state law, be entitled to a 50/50 split of the couple's earnings, even after just 14 months of marriage.

According to Forbes, Perry is worth at least $44 million, but some reports suggest it could be more.

I ain't saying he's a gold digga
But he ain't marryin' no broke...chicas.

2011 was a tough year for married famous people, and this tragic trend looks to continue well into the coming Mayan apocalypse. Can anything avert this terrible tragedy?

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Behold the doom of mankind.

​Yesterday the Library of Congress announced the 25 films selected by the U.S. National Film Preservation Board for inclusion in the National Film Registry. One of which, judging by online reaction, was a bit of a surprise:

The Oscar-winning "Forrest Gump," Walt Disney's 1942 classic animated film "Bambi," Charlie Chaplin's first feature-length comedy "The Kid" and a 1912 silent comedy "A Cure for Pokeritis" (starring cinema's earliest comedy superstar, John Bunny) are among the 25 movies that have been selected to be preserved as cultural, artistic and historical treasures in the National Registry of the Library of Congress. Librarian of Congress James H. Billington made the selections.

With this year's selections, there are 575 films in the registry. Movies are selected to the National Film Registry because they are "culturally, historically or aesthetically" important. "These films are selected because of their enduring significance to American culture," Billington said in a statement. "Our film heritage must be protected because these cinematic treasures document our history and culture and reflect our hopes and dreams."

Bambi yet no Bambi vs. Godzilla? An outrage, says I.

Films must be at least ten years old to be eligible, and are nominated by the public. Questions of historical and aesthetic importance are decided by the Film Preservation Board, meaning the inclusion of Gump leaves plenty of blame to be shared around. My concerns about the film's inclusion are of a more...practical nature.

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​As 2011 draws to a close, the natural tendency is to reflect on events of the past 12 months. Did we accomplish everything we'd hoped? Did we end the year in a better place than we started? Did that terrifying rash all over our genitalia clear up on its own, or should we finally see a doctor?

For folks in the lucrative movie reviewing biz, this is the time of year when we find ourselves banging our collective heads against the wall in order to come up with our annual "best of" lists. It's an excruciating exercise, not just because ranking what we saw in cinemas in 2011 is often a chore slightly less enjoyable than a latter period Nicolas Cage movie marathon, but because whatever we come up with is inevitably challenged by everyone who takes umbrage with your leaving their particular favorite off your ultimately meaningless list.

So more fun, for me anyway, is documenting the lesser lights of last year's offerings. Being older and feeling the hoary spectre of death hovering over my every step, I don't go out of my way to see every stinker out there, but I see enough. And like every other year, 2011 offered plenty to choose from.

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Can Peter Jackson top this? I doubt it.

​The trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey dropped like Boromir after taking a few Uruk-hai arrows yesterday. The first of Peter Jackson's two-part adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy doesn't hit theaters until December, 2012, giving all us all ample time to pick the preview apart like so many pocket protector-wearing vultures.

I have to admit to feeling a bit underwhelmed after seeing it. Yeah yeah yeah; don't judge a movie by its trailer. And I'm not, but having seen Jackson's LotR movies, there's plenty of fodder for discussion here.

And fair warning, there will be spoilers. For while I realize the movie doesn't come out for an entire year, the book it's based on was published before World War II. Chances are your dad has a copy lying around someplace.

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​David Fincher's adaptation of Stieg Larsson's gazillion-selling The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo opens today. I'll have a review up tomorrow, which will likely have no effect on the reportedly large numbers of women planning to avoid the film entirely.

Says another marketing exec, "Hyper-realistic violence against women is very different from the average horror movie. They're escapist, 'movie-date' oriented. This is different, and I suspect the female numbers [Sony does] have are inflated by title recognition, not actual desire. Do women really want to see a movie like this at this time of year?"[...]

A third marketing insider put the film's lack of success with connecting to its female fans this way: "I am surprised by those female [tracking] numbers, but I am not surprised that women don't want to see an ultraviolent David Fincher movie about women being tortured and raped. I think women see these trailers and are being scared shitless away from it."

I love marketing people: "Hey ladies, we know you don't have the stomach for 'realistic' violence, especially at Christmas." If he'd only added, "And you should really be baking cookies this time of year anyway," it would've been a perfect storm of douchery.

Why do tracking numbers show women avoiding Fincher's latest? Maybe they all saw the originals and aren't enthusiastic about what amounts to almost a shot-by-shot remake, albeit with James Bond. Ot maybe they're uncomfortable with the abuse heaped upon the quote-unquote "hero" of the movie, Lisbeth Salander. I don't know. Doesn't mean we can't speculate, or make some wildly inaccurate off-base comparisons.

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