H-E-B Might Be a Little Aggressive on Its Matt Schaub T-Shirt Pricing

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Perhaps you've heard of E. Jerome McCarthy's four P's of marketing, where there are four touch points that any business should consider when trying to effectively move its product. Let's critique the H-E-B in Bellaire as relates to the E. Jerome McCarthy marketing model:

1. Product
Where to begin. Okay, first, this shirt has the words "Play Like a Champion" and "Schaub" within the same square foot. Unless there's a board game or bar trivia game of which Schaub is a champion, then the shirt is a sham. Also, the font used for Schaub's name gives off more of a "gourmet pie baker" vibe than an "average NFL quarterback" vibe. This is truly a bad T-shirt.

2. Price
I think $15.50 is a tad aggressive if the target audience is actual football fans. Like I think they overshot it by about forty bucks. (I tried to figure out how much someone would need to pay me to wear that shirt, and $25 for one day sounded about right.) The only way you pay for that shirt is if you need a booby prize for your fantasy football league, that's it. Loser has to wear it to work for a week or something.

3. Promotion
Um, dude (I'm addressing H-E-B as "dude"), rule number one of promotion -- proofread your sign!! "Texasn"? "Schuab"???

4. Place
On the heels of Matt Schaub's soul-crushing 2013 season, I would think that the odds of moving any Matt Schaub merchandise become better relative to the increased distance from the center of the city of Houston at which they are being sold. The H-E-B in Bellaire is essentially "ground zero" for trying to move Matt Schaub gear. Anybody outside of the subset of people outlined above the tweet with the picture in it should not be buying this gear in Bellaire!


MY SOLUTION: Set up merchandise stands outside the home of Marshall Faulk, who apparently thinks that because Matt Schaub was less bad than David Carr, the Texans may keep him:

Ultimately, my prediction is that the H-E-B in Bellaire will wind up with a shelf full of unsold Schaub T-shirts, and those shirts will meet the same fate as the unused "World Championship" T-shirts of teams that lose in the Super Bowl, World Series or NBA Finals.

They'll be sent to the Congo or to Zaire, where thousands of children will grow up thinking Matt Schaub was a great NFL quarterback.

The end.

Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.

My Voice Nation Help

earlier in the month academy had the official nike nfl home jersey (white) of matt scrub for $14.99...this had an original price of $100. 

Sterling Meeks
Sterling Meeks

If you plan on wearing it with that Broncos cap, then you'll just end up looking like a total bandwagoner douche.

Corey Deiterman
Corey Deiterman

I'd buy a Schaub jersey for ironic, hipster reasons, but that shirt is just disgusting in general.

Rudy Torres
Rudy Torres

Might as well sell them as burning logs..


"proofread your sign!!"

says the man who cites the final "seen" in The Godfather

Puller58 topcommenter

So he won't be doing anymore ads?


just couldn't resist taking one last jab at Schaub, could you? you sir, are a jackazz

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