Countdown to 2013 King of Content: The One-Hit Wonders
When it comes to crowning the King of Content for the year 2013, quantity is the basis on which the kingdom is built, and rightfully so. Maintaining a consistent flow of excellence/criminal behavior/bizarre work/belligerence is what gets you the ultimate reward.
He has a whole "collection"?
But the extravaganza that is an overall calendar year requires a little bit of everything -- enduring, lasting personalities as well as brief flashes of pseudo-celebrity brilliance. I mean, sure, Live Aid was great because of The Who and U2, but Billy Ocean and Spandau Ballet were awesome, too!
So yes, when we look back at 2013, our first thoughts will be of Johnny Football's social media exploits, Royce White's anxiety drama and Aaron Hernandez's addiction to (allegedly) killing people.
But we needed a few no-namers getting their 15 minutes of fame to fill in the gaps. Here are my seven favorite 2013 King of Content "one-hit wonders":
DESMOND BRYANT: Desmond Bryant's Mugshot Ends the "Best NFL Mugshot Ever" Debate (2/26/13)
Bryant, a free agent defensive lineman at the time of this story, was picked up by cops for criminal mischief. Not to be confused with Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant, who could easily be picked up at any time himself, I suppose, Bryant was rewarded for his arrest with a multi-year deal from the Cleveland Browns. The best part of this story isn't the arrest, which is actually pretty tame compared to other offseason crimes. The best part is the mugshot, which won the Internet for the month in February.
ELVIS DUMERVIL: The Elvis Dumervil Fiasco: 4 Winners, 4 Losers (3/18/13)
At the time of this story, Dumervil was hoping to be a Denver Bronco outside linebacker and if his agent had faxed in the proper paperwork in time, he would be. However, the agent did not, and in an old-school fiasco (fax machines are still a thing?), Dumervil was forced to exit Denver and sign with Baltimore.
A.J. CLEMENTE: Zapruder Analysis of A.J. Clemente's (F-Bomb-Dropping News Anchor) 15 Minutes of Fame (4/23/13)
A.J. Clemente was an anchor in North Dakota who had no idea the camera was running while he dropped a couple of curse words in his debut, before butchering his maiden voyage...
The consequences? He wound up on Letterman, Leno, the Today Show and about ten other shows talking about his redemption. The moral of the story: In 2013, being the worst gets you noticed much faster than being the best.