The 20 Worst People of 2013
Kelli Peters, a volunteer at an Irvine, California elementary school, had punished a boy after tennis practice. Enter the kid's Parents from Hell, Kent and Jill Easter, who believed their son suffered grave emotional damage from the incident.
The Easters. Click for larger version.
The married lawyers sued Peters, tried to get her fired, and even sought a restraining order. But she kept volunteering.
So one night, Kent left a bag filled with pills, weed and a used pipe on the seat of Peters' car, which was parked at the school. He then anonymously called police, claiming he'd seen someone driving erratically and trying to hide nefarious contraband in the school parking lot.
Unfortunately, the cops didn't believe Peters was dumb enough to leave her dope in full view on the seat. Suspicions soon turned to the Easters, whose track-record of ham-fisted revenge fit the modus operandi of the caper.
Detectives traced the anonymous police call to Kent. Cell phone records also showed he'd been in contact with Jill that night, presumably providing a play-by-play of their gleeful dance with vengeance.
The damning phone records caused the glee to dim. Jill pleaded guilty to false imprisonment and the couple separated.
But Kent fought the charges, invoking The Hen-Pecked Defense. He claimed his wife forced him to make the call, and said Jill actually planted the dope while he was home sick in bed. Alas, this was contradicted by his own cell records, which showed him outside Peters' home on the night in question.
He's now again awaiting trial after his first trial ended with a hung jury. In the meantime, the couple has sued the Los Angeles Times, the Irvine Police Department, the Orange County District Attorney's office and 100 other unnamed people for defamation and being mean to them online. But since Kent has been fired by his law firm, it's unknown whether he can afford to provide all those defendants with free weed and pills.
Rojorlo Naranjo had previous convictions for kidnapping and sexual assault, granting him entry to Colorado's prestigious list of registered sex offenders. This, the 57-year-old knew, was exactly the kind of pedigree that left women a quivering glob of longing and desire. Which is why he chose the romantic setting of a Greeley, Colorado bus to drunkenly hit on a much younger woman.
Perhaps Naranjo was off his game. Perhaps the woman left her desire on the kitchen table that day. Either way, her inexplicable rejection of Naranjo was emphatic enough that the bus driver told him to quit creeping her out.
Yet Naranjo couldn't let this assault on ego and honor pass, lest all the other sex offenders mock him. So he sucker punched the driver, threw him off the bus, and began kicking him in the head.
Alas, his pummeling was insufficiently gallant to reverse the woman's heart. But it did get the attention of police, who charged him with harassment, "endangering public transportation," and trying to date over his head. Naranjo was sentenced to eighteen years.
8. Adam Savader
Adam Savader was a budding Republican operative who interned for Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney. Despite his access to the halls of power, he was unable to score with the ladies. That's because he's a frumpy little man-child with voodoo eyes that make him appear to be the product of an amorous weekend between Michele Bachmann and Charles Manson.
Still, Savader would not be denied love -- or at least his weird approximation of it. So he began hacking into to the email accounts of former classmates at George Washington University and his high school in Great Neck, New York.
Whenever he discovered selfies of bare-naked women intended for someone other than Adam Savader, he would send his targets anonymous texts, demanding they beam him additional naked photos. If they refused, Savader threatened to not only send his existing trove to their mothers, but to their sororities and - gasp! - the Republican National Committee, where they would likely be shared with known degenerates, such as congressmen from Alabama.
One victim attending college in Michigan went to police, who traced the anonymous texts to Savader. Though detectives say he attempted to extort fourteen women, he was allowed to plead guilty to one count of stalking, for which he'll spend at least two years in the slam.
A homeowner in San Pedro, California knew something was amiss when he heard his 80-pound Akita make a "huge yelp-like shriek" in the back yard in the middle of the night. The man went outside to find that an intruder had left behind his cell phone.
Two weeks later, the dog made the same unusual yelp. This time the man discovered the prowler had left a gate open. Fearing that someone was casing his house, he installed security cameras.
It wasn't long before the man awoke one Sunday to find the Akita's hair strewn about the back yard. A review of security tape would reveal something worse than a garden variety burglar.
The tape showed 22-year-old Christopher Caceres, a neighbor's grandson, drugging the Akita to get it to relax. Caceres then spent from 2 to 4 a.m. having sex with the animal, a remarkable feat of depravity and stamina.
Caceres has been charged with burglary, sexual deviance, bestiality and rape of a dog, with more charges expected.
La Crystal King-Woolfork spent a September night partying with a female friend at the Shake Your Booty club in Indian River County, Florida, a known home to refinement, mystery and romance.
At 4 a.m., the friends repaired to La Crystal's boyfriend's house to perform oral sex on each other. The boyfriend, who'd been sleeping, awoke to the bare-naked festivities. La Crystal asked him to make it a three-way tournament. The boyfriend declined.
His refusal harshed the atmosphere, so the female friend left. That left La Crystal and her man to argue over the technical requirements for properly hosting a guest.
At some point, La Crystal chose to accentuate her position by hitting him in the face with a metal candle holder and smashing her cell phone on his head. Then she stabbed him in the eye.
La Cyrstal confessed to her role in the candle holder/cell phone attack, but denied jabbing a knife in her boyfriend's eye. She'd always maintained strict rules about sticking to unconventional weapons, feeling it was more creative.
Police charged her with attempted murder.