BATTLE-DRINK, Week 11: DeAndre Hopkins's Weenie Roast
As we head into Week 10 with the Texans taking on the Arizona Cardinals, all of a sudden we have squares devoted to Gary Kubiak's health, the jumbled running back roster, a quarterback non-controversy-that-some-people-are-trying-to-make-a-controversy, bullying in the Dolphins locker room, and John McClain's Twitter feed.
In other words, somewhere along the way the hope and renewal of the 0-0 record going into the season devolved into a multilayered 2-6 soap opera.
So to be clear, the Texans' season had already crossed over from "pleasant sporting distraction" to "dark tragicomedy" heading into last Sunday's game. In other words, it turned before Ed Reed sent subtle jabs at the coaching staff that led to his release, and before DeAndre Hopkins's Instagram account became an homage to ChatRoulette.com.
In short, the way it has evolved, the Texans' 2013 season would have been a perfect season of Playmakers on ESPN.
Now let's get on with this week's BATTLE-DRINK card. As always, you can play conventional BATTLE-DRINK by following the rules exactly (and risk a case of alcohol poisoning that would kill an adult elephant), you can play BATTLE-DRINK SIP, which replaces all of the column components (Chug, Gulp, Shotgun, Shot) with "Sip," or you can play BATTLE-DRINK LIGHT, which makes each square one sip when it occurs.
As always, please drink responsibly, and don't drink and drive. Let's go...