Top 5 Alternatives to Watching the Texans This Sunday

Categories: Football, Sports

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This could be you, Jasper.
Let's be honest with ourselves for a minute. Whether or not we love the Texans, they have been extremely tough to watch lately. With Gary Kubiak committing to Matt Schaub for another game (and hopefully not another pick six), I'm just not sure any of us are ready to trust this team to be anything other than heartbreaking.

And why break your heart again? WHY? All it leaves you with is a broken remote control, terrified children and a wife who "just doesn't know you anymore." The Texans is breaking you and it's destroying your family. That's why, good sports fan, it's time to turn your eyes to other pursuits this Sunday. Give yourself a bye week and tend to happier matters. We have some suggestions.

Do Household Chores

These suck any day of the week, but they are so much more fun when the alternative is yet another soul crushing defeat. No one says you can't drink beer while you sweep the floor and do the laundry. Hell, have two! You deserve it for doing those tasks you meant to get to right before football season started. Plus, your wife will be super happy with you, which leads me to...


Have Sex

Right after the chores are done and you've showered the stink off of you, whip out some roses you got the wife on a run to the grocery store (discount flowers...BONUS!), put on some sweet soul music and dance around your living room like you are living out a Cialis ad. The woman who didn't even know you anymore will swoon and you will get to play pin the tail on the MILF if you are lucky, tiger.

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2 comments
ed.velazquez
ed.velazquez

As someone not originaly from Houston, Texans fans have always come off as huge bandwagoners who feverishly support their team when times are good but jump ship and turn against them when times are bad, this article just serves to fortify my belief. 

A TRUE fan sticks with their team through the good times and bad, not try to find something else to do besides watch when the team is going through a losing streak.

I personally root for both my team (The Indianapolis Colts) and the local team (The Texans) unless they are playing against each other. It's kinda shameful to see so many people turn against "their team" so quickly.

Emilia23
Emilia23

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