The Houston Texans' Futility Against the Spread (Also, Best Bets)

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Bad against the spread and everything else.
We all know the Texans' numbers by now. I laid them out for you in all the startling detail earlier this week: 4-8 over their last 12 games, four losses in a row, one second half touchdown in their last four games, pick sixes galore.

But of all the Texans' egregious transgressions, there is one that sits atop them all -- over that 4-8 spell during the last 12 games (dating back to last December), the Houston Texans are 2-10 against the spread!

And 0-6 against the spread this season!

It's one thing to disappoint an entire city, but to shatter the hopes and dreams (and parlays) of degenerate gamblers everywhere? JUDAS!

Here's how the numbers look:

December 10, 2012: New England (-5.5) 42, Texans 14
December 16, 2012: Texans 29 (-10.5) 29, Indianapolis 17
December 23, 2012: Minnesota 23, Texans (-7.5) 6
December 30, 2012: Indianapolis 28, Texans (-6.5) 16
January 5, 2013: Texans (-4) 19, Cincinnati 13
January 13, 2013: New England (-9.5) 41, Texans 28
September 9, 2013: Texans (-5) 31, San Diego 28
September 15, 2013: Texans (-7.5) 30, Tennessee 24
September 22, 2013: Baltimore (-1) 30, Texans 9
September 29, 2013: Seattle (-1) 23, Texans 20
October 6, 2013: San Francisco (-4) 34, Texans 3
October 13, 2013: St. Louis 38, Texans (-9.5) 13

The two wins are in BOLD, and you'll see that not only are the Texans causing foreclosures all over Harris County thanks to their performance against the number, but in the two covers they covered by a total of 3.5 points, or an average of 1.75 points per game. So they barely exceeded expectations.

Conversely, in the ten ATS losses, they failed to cover by a total of 143 points, or 14.3 points per game. So they missed expectations in those games not by a hair on their chinny chin chin, but by over two touchdowns!

The reason I tell you all of this? To point out that, in the world of gambling, there's an entity who is actually performing worse than I am right now!

Let's get to a few games, and no, I don't blame you at this point if you're just betting the opposite of me. So far, it's the right move.

And in that vain, let's just get this one out of the way...

CHIEFS -7 over Texans
Sorry, Coog fans, I know Case is your boy, and I like Case, too. But this is the bug being escorted out in front of the windshield, it's Tebow being shoved into a Vegas whorehouse. It's a bad situation for a guy making his first ever start. To me, from a gambling perspective, the most intriguing thing is the fact that the line hasn't moved at all since Keenum was announced as Schaub's replacement yesterday. If your third string undrafted free agent quarterback is inserted for your starter and the line doesn't move, it's safe to say your $62 million extension for said starter is a complete and utter failure.

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