NFL Player Prop Bets and the Most Questionable Fantasy Football Decision Ever

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I got 3 to 1 on Pacino to go "Hoo-AH!"
This is one of those mornings that I'm really thankful that sports betting exists (as opposed to the other 364 mornings out of the year that I'm thankful sports betting exists), because on the morning after my fantasy football auction, I am always dragging, and frankly, things like "player prop bets" and "season win totals" are posts I can do wickedly hungover in my sleep.

Before I get to that, a few fun facts about this fantasy league that I'm in (and I promise you these are not typical boring "This one time, I totally screwed my bro over on gettin' Arian Foster! It was EPIC!" fantasy football league stories; seriously, read on -- you won't be disappointed):

1. Our league (affectionately known as the Poulan Weedeater Football League) enters its 17th season. My friend and former co-worker Lance Zierlein and I started the league up in 1997, and while we've had some turnover among our ownership group, I believe that seven of the 12 owners from that first auction are still in the league and two more came in the following season in 1998. We still have guys that come in from as far as New York and Canada for auction night. That's pretty good.

2. Yes, we do an auction not a draft. Basically, drafts are for wussies. Auctions are for real men. On this, there can be no debate. We were one of the first leagues that I know of to go to an auction format, and we've never looked back. It's the best. Seriously, if you want feedback on how and why to do it, e-mail me or hit me on Twitter.

3. The calling card of our league? Divorce. Yes, you heard me. D-I-V-O-R-C-E. As a league, we had a streak of eight consecutive seasons where we would all show up for the auction and one owner would announce that he had gotten divorced in the past year or was in the process of getting divorced. EIGHT! I know, right?! (For the record, I was 2007.) Who'd have thought that a roomful of guys who treat a $200-per-team fantasy football league like life or death and spend 12 hours a day watching football would be susceptible to their marriages falling apart?? Go figure!

SIDE BAR: Matthew Berry, ESPN's fantasy guru, recently put out a book of fantasy football stories that's pretty good, and our league and our divorce story made the first edit of the book, but ultimately wound up on the cutting room floor. I had Berry on my radio show a few weeks ago, and asked him why it didn't make the book. He said ultimately a league with eight straight years of divorce was kind of dark and depressing. I'm not sure all of those involved in the actual divorces agree with Matthew's assessment.

4. Nobody's died in our league, but we did have our first heart attack three years ago. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: The guy who had the heart attack would have been a long shot on the "heart attack big board" for our league; totally came out of nowhere. Young guy, in shape, he would have been +1500, maybe even higher. The moral, as always -- live every moment, kids. (You thought I was gonna say, "See your doctor," didn't you? Hah, no way. Carpe diem, bitches!)

5. This season, we had one of our least successful owners of all time decide to hang it up. Hey, it happens. We used to joke about this guy being the "Isiah Thomas" of our league, Thomas of course, as a general manager, is best known for ruining the New York Knicks franchise several years ago with numerous poor decisions and bloated contracts. So if you wanted an ironic replacement of that owner, you'd go find the equivalent of Isiah Thomas's antithesis, you'd go find the fantasy football version of Rockets general manager Daryl Morey, right?


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3 comments
JimWC
JimWC

I would not want to be in a league with Daryl Morey.  But Ed Wade, Tim Pupura and Drayton McLane are welcome at any time.

JimWC
JimWC

I refuse to be in a league with people that are compulsively obsessed with running backs.  If your league is set up so the only valuable players are running backs, CHANGE YOUR SCORING SYSTEM!!!

major_delmac
major_delmac

auction league is stupid if drafting 8 running backs is an idea at all.

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