Johnny Manziel's Judgment Day: All Roads Lead to Wrestlemania (I mean, the Alabama Game)
Evil twin referee screws over Nick Saban and the Crimson Tide
The script: Down by four with no timeouts left, Texas A&M furiously drives down the field into Alabama territory. With ten seconds to go at the Alabama 40 yard line, Manziel drops back and with nobody open decides to scramble. As he's weaving in and out of Alabama defenders, the clock hits 0:00. Manziel is tackled five yards short of the goal line, but the referee signals touchdown! What the hell?!? Nick Saban stomps onto the field to bludgeon the referee with his bare fists when out of nowhere an exact twin of the referee who made the terrible touchdown call appears, trying to calm things down. Chaos ensues, and Saban tears each of their hearts from their chests with his bare hands and bites into them like an apple.
WWE doppelgänger: The Main Event, 1988. Ted Dibiase's evil twin referee screws Hulk Hogan out of the World Title (fast forward to 17:15)
The post match interview with Nick Saban (blood still streaming down his chin from the heart chomping) asking Tracy Wolfson "How much did the Aggies spent on the plastic surgery?!" would get roughly five billion hits on YouTube by Monday.
Odds of happening: 1.22%
THE OUTLANDISH, SCENARIO 3
Johnny joins forces with the NCAA
The script: Tie ball game, Manziel is driving the Aggies down the field. One the final play, he has only one man (Alabama cornerback Ha Ha Clinton-Dix) to beat to get into the end zone. Out of nowhere comes NCAA president Mark Emmert who blasts Clinton-Dix in the head with a chair, allowing Manziel to score the winning touchdown. Manziel autographs the ball, hands it to Emmert, Emmert gives Manziel an envelope with $7,500 in it, the two embrace and stand in the end zone with their arms raised. The Aggie fans simultaneous cheer their lungs out for the win while pegging Manziel and Emmert with various glassware and batteries.
WWE doppelgänger: Wrestlemania 17, Steve Austin joins forces with Vince McMahon (fast forward to 5:00 mark)
Somehow, Jim Ross' description of "Satan himself" seems to fit Mark Emmert even better than it fit Vince McMahon...
Odds of happening: 0.01%
Johnny leads the Aggies to an upset (with an odd call at the end)
The script: We all remember last year's game ending on a somewhat controversial offsides call that prevented Alabama from getting one final crack at the end zone, right?
Well, this season, in a tight back and forth battle that sees each team get the upper hand on multiple occasions, a potential game winning touchdown by the Crimson Tide on the final play of the game is thwarted by a phantom holding call. Nick Saban is looking around for a referee to strangle, but all of the officials are sprinting off the field. Aggies win 29-24, again!
WWE doppelgänger: 1997 Survivor Series, The Montreal Screwjob (fast forward to 23:40)
The visual of Johnny Manziel grabbing the BCS title trophy and grabbing Katherine Webb (the de facto BCS title trophy) and making a beeline for the locker room amidst a cascade of empty whiskey bottles from whatever Alabama fans are there is pretty entertaining to me.
Odds of happening: 21.3%
Alabama wins a bloodbath, Johnny gains respect
The script: Unlike last season, when Johnny Manziel was largely allowed to run wild, especially early in the game, Alabama manages to keep him in the pocket and force him to do some very un-Johnny like things. Trailing 37-35 and in the midst of getting the tar beat out of him by the Tide defense, a bloodied, bruised, and punch drunk Johnny Football leads the Aggies down to the Alabama 21 yard line with two seconds to go in the game. Out trots field goal kicker Taylor Bertolet for the game winner, but oh NO....WIDE RIGHT! Game over! Tide wins.... Despite the loss, the college football world gains huge respect for the toughness and grit of Johnny Manziel, who throws for 421 yards and four touchdowns despite enduring eight sacks, ten hurries, and 16 knockdowns.
WWE doppelgänger: Wrestlemania 13, Stone Cold Steve Austin passes out in a pool of his own blood in the sharpshooter to Bret Hart (fast fwd to 25:32)
I can hear JR screaming it now -- "Manziel never gave up! MANZIEL NEVER GAVE UP!!"
Odds of happening: 52.4%
MY ACTUAL PREDICTION
As a neutral observer, my "concern" factor is much higher for the A&M defense than it is for the Aggie offense. The venue, and A&M's pace in that heat are factors to consider, but in the end, I like the Crimson Tide and I love Nick Saban in a revenge situation like this...
Alabama 34, Texas A&M 24
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