48: Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini's Two Days From Hell
It's hard to believe it's been four years since 24 closed up shop. For eight seasons, Jack Bauer (played with by the comically over-the-top Kiefer Sutherland) graced our television screens screaming catchphrases like "WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME" while trying to catch bad guys. Like really, really bad guys. Like terrorist pieces of shit.
For those who don't remember or didn't watch, the premise of the show was simple. The entire season was 24 one hour episodes of events happening in real time, and oddly enough Jack Bauer was the only person in history to endure multiple terrorist attacks and government backstabbings in a single day without going to the bathroom even once.
And he did it eight times. And it was awesome. If nothing else, it made me feel good knowing whatever day I was having, it couldn't be any worse than Jack Bauer's day (even though Bauer was totally fictional).
I bring this up because Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini just had about as close to a college football coach's version of a Jack Bauer day as one could have.
For the sake of mathematical correctness, Pelini's escapades played out over closer to a 48 hour period, not 24 hours. Also, Pelini's issues did not involve any guns or nuclear weapons, unless you count Pelini's temper, which is a B83 bomb ready to detonate at any moment.
In the spirit of 24, let's unveil what went down:
"The following takes place between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. ...."
After jumping out to a 21-3 lead at home, the 23rd ranked Huskers allowed the 16th ranked UCLA Bruins to score 38 points in just over 30 minutes, including 28 points in a soul crushing, back breaking, potentially job terminating (for Peilini) third quarter. UCLA wound up with over 500 yards of total offense, which is a brutal indictment for a head coach who is supposed to be some sort of defensive wizard (a reputation whose justification ended, oddly enough, about the time 24 did).
Here are the highlights, in case you missed it:
"The following takes place between 7:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. ...."
Tommie Frazier is a Nebraska legend. A three time national champion at quarterback, Frazier would be on the short list of players that you would put on a Cornhusker Mount Rushmore. Nearly two decades removed from his time in Lincoln as a student-athlete, Frazier still makes his home in the Omaha area and is apparently a religious follower still of his Cornhuskers. I know this because following the UCLA debacle, he tweeted this:
After letting it sink in for about 4 hours I still struggling. It's time to get rid of the (cont) http://t.co/fqMgFHZWQl— Tommie Frazier (@TouchdownTommie) September 15, 2013
In case you don't feel like clicking the twitlonger link, here is the full text of Frazier's evaluation of the defensive effort on Saturday:
After letting it sink in for about 4 hours I still struggling. It's time to get rid of the defensive play caller, the Dc, lb dl and db coaches. I hate saying this but this crap is getting old. How in the hell do you not make adjustments or put your players in the position to compete? If this is what is going to happen for the remainder of the season, count me out. I don't care if we lose a game but the way we are losing is just not what #Nebraska fans deserve. I have fought, bled, and cried over this program. I didn't do all that for the program to become what it has today. Time for change! I will comment about the offense this week on Tommie's X's and O's. Trust me you don't want to miss it. #Huskers
The only thing missing is a link to monster.com and a gift card to amazon.com so Pelini can purchase some resume software.