Tales of NFL Quarterbacks: Tebow Is Done, Vince Young Loves Shots
Another day, another crippling blow to my NFL quarterback wager with my cohost John Granato. Actually, to be fully accurate, two crippling blows to my side of the wager.
It's been a while.
To refresh your memory, the bet goes as follows:
True or false: Out of these three quarterbacks -- Tim Tebow, Vince Young and JaMarcus Russell -- none of them will even set foot in an NFL training camp and so much as put on a uniform for one practice this summer.
Granato has "True." I have "False."
When we last assessed the odds on this bet just a few days ago, I had them pegged as follows:
From about the time we shook hands and posted the first set of odds on this wager, the numbers have steadily been skewing in Granato's favor, and late last week they moved further in that direction on the strength of a significantly lighter version of JaMarcus Russell (265 pounds is...LIGHT!) emerging as my primary hope to win the bet, the thought behind Granato emerging as a heavier favorite being that anytime you have to count on Russell to flush the toilet after he takes a dump, let alone convince an NFL team to sign him to play quarterback, you are in an dreadful corner of the gambling universe.
At the time of our last odds, confidence was already waning on Tim Tebow and Vince Young, and that was before these two stories came out on Friday.
It's basically just a report that everyone involved in the NFL in a hiring capacity thinks that Tim Tebow sucks at football. Nothing really jarring there, unless you have a breakfast bet that requires Tebow to be, you know, employed come late July. Not only does the article contend he sucks at football, but it essentially calls him a mental midget as well:
Among the problems NFL teams have identified about Tebow, according to the report, are that he has a hard time remembering plays, he didn't run the offense well and got the Broncos flagged for delay of game too often, he struggled to read defenses and he didn't have the self-awareness to know what he wasn't doing well and work on improving those issues.
Notice that not a single one of the issues listed above is a physical issue. Hard time remembering plays? Mental. Didn't run the offense well? Mental. Flagged for delay of game too often? Comically mental. Struggled to read defenses? Mental, mental, MENTAL...
Okay, you get my drift. The NFL basically thinks Tim Tebow is a mouth-breathing imbecile who isn't worth the circus that follows him.
That sound you hear is the odds on my wager creaking further in Granato's direction.
But wait, there's more!
Shortly after I retweeted the Tebow news on Friday, a post from my friends over at bustedcoverage.com went up with the following headline:
VINCE YOUNG DOING A SHOT AT HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY [PHOTOS-UPDATE]
Indeed, on the heels of his graduation from Texas a couple weeks ago (and the hopes of a more grounded and scholarly Vince), we get pictures of ol' V.Y. celebrating the big 3-0 by raising a glass:
And simulating getting sodomized by this ample breasted little thing in the flower dress:
Vince is back on the party train again, only now he's got a shiny new piece of sheepskin to show the ladies. By the way, I think Vince's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt alone moved the line another fifty points in Granato's direction.
So, there you have it. My hopes and dreams on this wager rest on the man boobs of JaMarcus Russell to an even greater extent than I thought last Thursday. Which means that the numbers are just getting worse for me:
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