Top Four Things to Do in Houston Sports This Weekend: Mom, I'm Bored Edition
It's here again, that time of year when the kids are let out of school and immediately begin whining that there's nothing to do. Oh, sure, you try and try to make them happy. You can invent a brand-new game with balls and paper sacks and even clean up the damn mess they make when they nearly kill the goldfish and knock over glasses half full with strange-colored liquid, but do they appreciate it? No. Then, one day they leave you alone and miserable. While they are off with their friends having fun, you sit at home, drink bottles of chardonnay and clean that same damn shelf over and over again. Was that the phone ringing? No, that was just the sound your heart makes when it is shattering into pieces!
Sorry, I got distracted because the Lifetime channel was playing in the background. So, yeah, there's not a lot going on out there, not even enough for a top five. I want to tell you that you have a lot of options when it comes to sports this weekend, but your biggest excitement might be squirting the dog with the water hose or standing in a kiddie pool while barbecuing. It worked for Cedric the Entertainer.
4. Houston Heights Fun Run
Saturday, 7:30 a.m.
Marmion Park on Heights Boulevard
"Fun" and "run" are not words I like to put together in a sentence, primarily because I don't tend to see the fun in running. But, hey, some of you crazy running types might be in the market for a muggy, early-morning run along Heights Boulevard, and if so, you're in luck because the annual Heights Fun Run is Saturday. The money benefits the continued beautification of one of Houston's most noble promenades, so get out there and run until your sweat starts sweating.
3. Sugar Land Skeeters vs. Somerset Patriots
Friday, 7:05 p.m.; Saturday, 6:05 p.m.; Sunday, 6:05 p.m.
When Somerset comes to town, you can throw out the record books. Wait, where the hell is Somerset (searches Google)? Oh, Kentucky. Fun fact: Somerset is home to former major league outfielder Josh Anderson, who was drafted by...wait for it...the Astros in 2007. He played for the major league club for two months before being traded to the Atlanta Braves for Oscar Villarreal. The more you know...