COPS Will Soon Be Filming Mulleted Ne'er Do Wells in Beaumont

Categories: Television, Texas

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We know exactly what we gonna do, what we gonna do, when they come for us: tell 'em it ain't our crack!
If you've ever been jealous of the (alleged) perps on "COPS," resplendent in their beer-soaked wife-beaters and mullets, shouting about how that crack rock in their back pocket wasn't really theirs because those really aren't their pants, as they're forced to the ground in front of their trailer while a baby-mama and a pit bull exchange tormented yelps, and eighteen officers stand watch with Tasers, now's your chance to shine: the venerable TV show, now in its 86th season, will soon be filming in Beaumont.

Beaumont Police Chief Jim Singletary told the Police News that a "COPS" producer called him and "said he did a little research on us. He's from Texas, and he likes to do Texas police departments. And he's heard some good things about our department."

The chief said the show's cameras will follow Beaumont's finest for about eight weeks, and the City Council has already given its blessing with a unanimous vote to allow the filming.

Councilman Jamie Smith told the Police News, "I think it'll show what a fantastic job our police officers are trying to do out there everyday. And I think it's a testament to the job they've been doing so far."

Chief Singletary also said, "It will be good for the city of Beaumont, and will be a good recruiting tool, good for morale, and I think it's a good thing overall."

We couldn't agree more, which is why we're busting out our wife-beaters and borrowing a friend's crack-filled pants -- Mr. DeMille, we're ready for our perp-walk.

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4 comments
bernerf
bernerf

Uh I beg to differ.  Having Vidor next door just makes Beaumont seems less white trashey.

djoelaw
djoelaw

All the mullets and wife beaters are next door in Vidor, not Beaumont. Beaumont is New Orleans without the French Quarter.

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