Top Five Things to Do in Houston Sports This Weekend: Dirt, Clay, Mud and Cheerleaders

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SUNDAY, SUNDA...er...SATURDAY, SATURDAY!
TGIF, my children. It's time to rev up the weekend and get yo butts in gear. You may want to lie around on your couch watching the Final Four or spend some time absorbing "culture" at a "museum." I say blow all that crap out of the water with an ass-kicking good time like any red-blooded American. How, you ask? With sports, my good men/women.

Oh, and there is plenty to be excited about this weekend, and, strangely, much of it involves soil of one kind or another. Some of it is of the spectator variety and other events will let you shake your groove thangs, yeah yeah.

Saddle up, buckos. It's time for the top five things do to in Houston sports for the first weekend in April.


5. Memorial Hermann Ironman 70.3 Texas
Saturday, 10 a.m.

Moody Gardens
1 Hope Blvd.
Galveston, Texas 77554
Event Website

If you were thinking about participating in this event, it's too late, buster. The thing is sold out. But the sheer spectacle of seeing people swim 1.2 miles in Offats Bayou, ride a 56-mile bike course in the brutal Gulf wind and run another 13.1 miles sounds pretty damn incredible. When I first read it, I figured I could do it, but then I realized the numbers weren't minutes but miles. I was thinking, "Oh, hell, I can swim, ride and run for a little over an hour." Miles? HA HA HA!!!


4. Muddy Trails Bash
Saturday, 3 p.m.

Rob Fleming Park
6055 Creekside Forest Dr.
The Woodlands, Texas 77389
Event Website

This event sounds more my speed. While the run isn't muddy -- unless it rains, and that seems unlikely -- the reason it's called the Muddy Trails Bash is that at the end you get a big heaping pile of crawfish as your after-run dinner. They have three different courses: 10k, 5k and 2k (for you and your dog). There will be live music and a mess o' mudbugs. I bet there will be beer around, too. Mmmmm...beer.


3. Men's Clay Court Championships
All Weekend (and going into next week)

River Oaks Country Club
1600 River Oaks Blvd.
Houston, Texas 77019
mensclaycourt.com

The qualifying rounds of the Men's Clay Court Championships are this weekend and the best part is the qualifiers are free. Tennis is actually pretty fun to see live. I went to this event a number of years ago when it was held out at Westside and it was enjoyable. Granted, the names on the player list aren't terribly impressive, this not being a huge event and held on clay, the surface that's liked by only a handful of players and the French. But it's fast paced and you get to hang at the River Oaks Country Club, something you probably couldn't do otherwise, peasant.

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