Five Reasons the Mars Rover Drew a Huge, Throbbing Penis in the Martian Dirt
The sharp-eyed folks at Reddit noticed something odd in a batch of pictures from the Mars Rover. Namely, a penis. The Rover drew a huge freaking penis on the surface of Mars.
Photo by NASA
But let's assume it's valid and new. Why would the Rover draw a big dick? We offer five theories:
5. It's lonely at the top.
There are two Rovers -- Spirit and Opportunity. But Spirit went out of commission in 2011, having performed long past its expected use. The two probes were sent to far different parts of Mars, so Opportunity can't even visit its dead colleague's grave.
Such loneliness can inspire, in some, the need for man-meat. Opportunity is just posting a "Casual Encounters" ad. Trouble is, we don't know if the probe drew the equipment he desires to play with or, instead, was boasting of the equipment he's got.
4. He's bored.
(Forget it -- for grammar reasons, we're assuming Opportunity is a dude. A dick-hunting dude.) Say what you will about Mars, it's not the universe's most enchanting place. You like rocks and dust and dust storms and more rocks? Mars is your place. But if you've been traipsing over it for more than eight years, it can get a little tiresome, we presume.
Thoughts may wander. And since it's spring, a young Rover's fancy turns to etc., etc. etNSFWcetera. Who are we to disapprove?
3. He's immature.
Opportunity is nine going on ten, if you count the blastoff as his birthdate. You want maturity out of a nine-year-old? Good luck with that. Just thank the Lord the Opportunity didn't land on Uranus.