Michael Brown: "I'm Terrified of Going to Jail"

Categories: Courts

Brown 2.jpg
Wait -- am I supposed to say "cheese" or "ooga-booga-booga"? [Not a recent photo]
Both sides of the Michael "I Am Sorry for Fucking Your Mother Instead of Someone Else" Brown freakshow rested today, and Judge Sheri Dean will deliver her decision Friday at 10:30 a.m. Brown faces a maximum of six months in Harris County Jail if he's found liable for violations of a family court order regulating his personal expenditures.

Attorney Robert Hoffman eviscerated Brown on the stand, leaving Brown's lawyer, John Nichols, to mop up a hot mess of crazy, which he tried to do by telling the judge that his client's one night in jail was a wake-up call sufficient to rectify a quarter-century of completely batshit behavior.

"It was absolutely agonizing, horrible," Brown said of his jail time. "I'm diagnosed with a medical condition, post-traumatic stress order; it was very difficult to deal with. I have high blood pressure [and] had no medicine. It was horrible, I'm terrified of going to jail and I'm absolutely not going to violate any court order."

Brown did not elaborate upon, nor did Nichols ask, the cause of this PTSD, but Hair Balls believes Brown suffered traumatically when he used a broken bedpost to beat his pregnant wife in front of their two-year-old daughter in 2000, before shooting at her through a locked bathroom door. We're sure that having to beat a defenseless, pregnant woman like that is a harrowing experience.

In Nichols's defense, not even Clarence Darrow's reanimated corpse could have mustered up a viable defense for Brown, who, in what appears to be a flagrant violation of court orders, spent millions on yachts, real estate, jewelry, and clothes for himself and at least one ex-girlfriend.

Nichols just had nothing to work with, something that was illustrated by the defense's own rebuttal witness, a retired U.S. Army General named David Grange, who was hired 13 days ago to figure out how to turn around Brown's crumbling constellation of corporations.

Grange testified that he was approached by one of Brown's 8,472 attorneys, Robert Hantman (the guy you want on your side when you're accused of giving some gal the anal herp), to save the business, but that he still needed about another month to figure out what's what. Grange also testified that he "heard" that Brown was "suspended" from the practice of medicine, clearly indicating this is one retired general who's done his homework.

Grange testified that if a "tourniquet" wasn't immediately applied to Brown's hemorrhaging empire, it would go down the tubes in two to six months.

We'll keep you posted.

Our other coverage of the hearing: Starring Jeff Bagwell; starring women who fleece his innocent self.

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18 comments
thetruth
thetruth

Why have you never posted any of the good things he has done.. Like gone to other country and did surgery on children for nothing.. Gave children food and cloths,  How about the little boy that had arms that he could not straight out and all this boy wanted to do was put his arms around his date at prom.. Dr Brown did that he made it possible for his to put his arms around his date..  How about putting back on a baby fingers that was accidently cut off by his mother while cliping his nails..  No done of that you have ever wrote about..  There is alot of good he has done, not all bad...   

thetruth
thetruth

The person Writing these terible things  about Dr. Brown, You really need a life, you only think you know who he is, you know nothing... So shut the h... up..  And get a life.     You know his family and children will read this crap one day..  And his real family is sick of reading  this crap.... 

Hanabi-chan
Hanabi-chan topcommenter

Has anyone figured out yet that this guy needs a psych evaluation?

Michael Myers
Michael Myers

I remember his wife's terrified frozen smile in the old commercials. She seemed to be blinking "Help me."

Clara Elizabeth Gipson
Clara Elizabeth Gipson

I am just glad he isn't doing surgery, he seems to be unfraying. This is not a current crazy pic. I am sure jail is scary to him, I am afraid he would be someone's bitch right away a survival mechanism. Very unfortunate.

LeLinda Dion
LeLinda Dion

Why does the Houston Press write stories on this guy what is his relevance?

cityslicker
cityslicker

Can we say.....Jack Nicholson  "Here's Johnny"!

thetruth
thetruth

@Clara Elizabeth Gipson He was a great Doctor and has done wonderful things and have given hope to many people that would never been able to live a normal life with out his surgery he done..  He personal life may be a little crazy, but mainly becasue of the gold diggers he married..  

Everrett
Everrett

@LeLinda Dion  Probably the likelihood that he will get off (again) after spending million$ on attorneys, when the ordinary man of average means would have been in solitary or at least the lock-up ages ago. Not to mention the hypocrisy of the social strata where a while back he was regaled in society columns as a great guy, but not a word now.

Discgolfer22
Discgolfer22

It is like rubbernecking on the freeway. You know you shouldn't look at the wreck, but most people can't help themselves. Brown is the ultimate train wreck of a human being.

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