UPDATED: Michael Brown Says He Got E. Coli in Jail, So He Needs Out -- Now!

Categories: Courts

Brown 2.jpg
Man, this jail stuff is for the birds! [Not a recent photo]
Update: Judge Sheri Dean didn't spring Michael Brown from jail today after hearing from Rachel Brown's attorneys, as well as another attorney Dean personally assigned as an administrative judge, that Brown hasn't paid attorneys' fees as ordered. However, he has another jail review hearing April 4. If Brown can show that he's substantially complied with Judge Dean's orders, she could potentially release him early and suspend the balance of his 180-day sentence.

Michael "Simply Give Him His Ten Minutes of Pleasure" Brown has asked a judge to spring him from his six-month Harris County Jail sentence because he allegedly contracted E. coli and because every day in jail for him will hurt his estranged wife and children financially.

Yeah, it makes about as much sense the thousandth time you read it, too.

The motion doesn't explain how Brown supposedly contracted the dreadful bug, only that he has "suffered severe physical side effects as a result. It is important to his physical health that he be released and allowed to pursue private medical attention to address any medical concerns that may still exist as a result of his custody in the Harris County Jail. (For the record, we heard that E. coli stings like a bitch -- like, imagine getting your face bashed in by a broken bedpost after being dragged up the stairs by your hair with such force that the hair comes out in clumps by the roots. Yeah, it's even worse than that!)

Family Court Judge Sheri Dean sentenced the ex-surgeon to 180 days in jail for multiple violations of a court order regulating his spending abilities during his never-ending divorce proceeding with Rachel Brown.

Brown also asserts that his "companies are facing devastating consequences each passing day" and he could better stop the hemorrhaging if he could only get out and help his new "chief restructuring officer," David Grange.

"If [Brown] is not released from custody, there will be irreparable harm and devastation" to Brown, Rachel and their kids. (Yeah, 'cause everything up till now has been freakin' awesome for them.)

A hearing is scheduled in Dean's court at 1 p.m. Monday, March 25.

We left a message for Brown's attorney, John Nichols, who's probably really embarrassed over filing this turkey, but hey -- the client's always right, no? We'll update if and when we hear back.

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34 comments
Fiddlybits
Fiddlybits

Ecoli is a potentially serious by-product of rim-jobs. Be careful, kids.

H_e_x
H_e_x

I've seen his face staring at me on this site and it still freaks me out. Truly a face that cannot be unseen.

sumanabose
sumanabose

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miss_msry
miss_msry

Excuse me, people in jail get better medical care than the general population, so gut up big boy and deal with it.

employeeofthemonth
employeeofthemonth

Hold on....didn't the judge order you to sign over the running of the company to this David Grange fellow because you were the one causing the company to hemorrhage from all of your reckless spending?  Did you not get the e-mail.  No one wants you back in the company or anywhere else!

Ranko
Ranko

It's called Jail.  It's not meant to be pleasant.  Your actions got you in there, now deal with it like a man for once in your life!

Ranko
Ranko

It's called Jail.  It's not meant to be pleasant.  Your actions got you in there, now deal with it like a man for once in your life!

sneakers
sneakers

DON'T DO IT JUDGE DEAN. NO!  DON'T LET HIM OUT! 

WOMEN EVERYWHERE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP THIS DISEASE OFF THE STREET!!!!

sneakers
sneakers

Does E.Coli and drug withdrawals have the same symptoms?  Just sayin!

cityslicker
cityslicker

If there was a category for the best get out of jail excuse, this one would win!  BTW....keeping him in jail not only helps the company, it's employees, his wife and children, it just flat out help society on a whole.  Keep up the good work Judge Dean!!!!!

mittydarjeeling
mittydarjeeling

good work...now onto some other stuff that affects all.

Natalia Moreno
Natalia Moreno

"We received", not "We recieved". You are the press, a lot of people read you.

copa
copa

I'm guessing he's about 2 days away from an Allen Stanford-style "fight my fellow inmates over the TV" party.

Christine Locher
Christine Locher

He's gonna get anal herpes too... lmao ...what a train wreck

John Hodges
John Hodges

They are treating him like family... LOL

lakers
lakers

so can he cure the carpal tunnel you can get from hitting him upside the head? just wondering...

R Eliza Beth
R Eliza Beth

This fellow is proof god does not exist.

Javier Gomez
Javier Gomez

I don't get it, thought E. coli & Brown went hand in hand?

Victor Del Rio
Victor Del Rio

Because of his medical condition, he is housed in the 'secluded' gay tank. So if he contracted E. Coli, a lot of other cases would have arisen, as the food comes from the same kitchen, and probably quarantined the tank.

Darrell Maxwell
Darrell Maxwell

He may get more than that by the end of his sentence. Poor rich guy.

Melia Hughes
Melia Hughes

That probably shouldn't make me laugh as hard as it does.

Kylejack
Kylejack topcommenter

Please don't ever stop using that picture for stories about him.

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