Sammy Sosa's Pinterest Account Shows Sosa's Maniacal Interest In Sammy Sosa
The final ballot count for baseball's 2013 Hall of Fame induction class was announced on Wednesday. Not surprisingly, the baseball writers collectively chose to induct nobody in this year's class. Even less surprisingly, the players on the ballot who had the stain of performance-enhancing drug use on their résumés got completely annihilated in the voting.
Among the ultimate squash jobs was former Cubs outfielder and eighth all-time leading home run hitter
if you can get past the steroids, and the cork, and more steroids Sammy Sosa, who garnered a relatively paltry 12.5 percent of the vote.
Players must be named on 75 percent of the ballots to gain induction, so Sosa's odds of climbing from 12.5 percent to the strata of the baseball immortals are microscopic
like his steroid-shrunken testicles at best.
But for all you stark raving Sosamaniacs, fear not! Sammy will not just go riding off into a dianabol soaked sunset. Through the magic of social media, Sammy Sosa lives on in our lives!
Thank you, Pinterest!
Yes, Sammy Sosa, along with millions of mostly female people around the world, has a Pinterest account!
For the uninitiated, Pinterest is another one of those pesky social media sites where users congregate, comment, troll and creep. Here is Wikipedia's description of Pinterest. (Just know that this description will matter greatly about 200 words from now.):
Pinterest is a pinboard-style photo sharing website that allows users to create and manage theme-based image collections such as events, interests, hobbies, and more. Users can browse other pinboards for inspiration, 're-pin' images to their own collections or 'like' photos. Pinterest's mission is to "connect everyone in the world through the 'things' they find interesting" via a global platform of inspiration and idea sharing.
So in short, the idea of a Pinterest account is to share pictures of things that greatly interest you, so people can learn more about you and maybe share dialogue on common interests.
With that in mind, let's go take a look at Sammy Sosa's Pinterest account and learn what interests ol' Number 21 the most, shall we?
First, his user name for Pinterest is "SammySosaTheRealMr609," which takes the title for longest, most annoying social media user name, a title I was able to hold for nearly four years on Twitter with my user name "@SeanCablinasian." Props, Sammy, you're the champ now.
One bone of contention with your user name, though, Sosa. The REAL Mr. 609? For those who are unaware, 609 is the number of home runs Sosa hit in his MLB career. Um, dude, there is very little real about you, Sosa, and even less that is real about your 609 home runs. By my best estimation, your productivity pattern seems to indicate steroid use beginning around 1993 and ending around 2004. Outside of that period, you hit a whopping total of 55 home runs.
So here's the deal -- you can either change your name to "SammySosaTheReal55," or you have to change it to "SammySosa609SteroidFreak." One or the other. On this there can be no debate.
Now let's take a look at your pictures and see if we can ascertain exactly what it is that interests you, Sammy.