Houston Wins Census Challenge, Increases Official Population Total by a Whopping 812

Categories: Spaced City

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SUCK ON THAT, CENSUS BUREAU!
On any given Sunday during football season, there are 70,000 people sitting in the stands at Reliant Stadium watching the game. Imagine just over one percent of those people, probably the number of combined fans standing in the beer and bathroom lines at halftime at one corner of the upper level, and you just imagined how many people the city of Houston added to its Census numbers thanks to a challenge to the official total.

In the last Census population count, the U.S. Census Bureau marked us down for 2,099,451. But the city of Houston was all, "No way, federal government. We totally have more and you should, like, re-check it or something," assuming the city of Houston was represented by a girl from 1980s San Fernando Valley, California.

Lo and behold, the feds got it wrong -- this is why we are threatening to secede, Obama! The total was actually 2,100,263. That's right, they didn't count 812 people. These are people, Census Bureau, PEOPLE! The count pushes the city over the 2.1 million mark, which Mayor Annise Parker says in a release is good for the city, " It is confirmation that we made the right decision in proceeding with redistricting and the addition of two new council seats," she said. "Of course, having an accurate count will also mean Houston will not be short-changed when it comes to receiving federal grants and other funding that is based on population.

We're not certain that 812 justified two council seats, but, whatever. We're 812 stronger than before. Next time I'm in line at a Texans game waiting to go to the bathroom, I'll smile with pride as I think that I'm waiting in line with the accurately counted number of people. That is exactly what I'll be thinking.

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