The Houston Texans 2012 All Character(s) Team

Categories: Football, Sports

texans-characters.jpg
Photo by Jeff Balke
Connor Barwin and JJ Watt at a Rockets game last year right before Barwin pile drove the Grizzlies mascot.
Having a good team requires a mix of straight arrows -- guys like Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson, who appear nearly asleep when they aren't slicing and dicing opponents like cold cuts -- and goofballs who keep things light in what can often be a very intense work environment. Throughout the years, Houston has seen its fair share of characters from politics to community leaders to sports. Hell, the Luv Ya Blue Oilers teams had a head coach named Bum who wore a ten-gallon hat, but not in the Astrodome because his mama told him it was impolite to wear a hat indoors.

The 10-1 Houston Texans are the kind of team that kills with a thousand cuts. They do a lot of things well and play probably the most balanced game of any team in the NFL. They lack the flamboyance of a team like the Patriots, with its GQ cover model quarterback and grumpy, hoodie-wearing mad genius of a coach. They don't exude the toughness of San Francisco and its my-way-or-the-highway head coach, Jim Harbaugh.

But that doesn't mean they don't have some interesting fellas on the team. In fact, if they were to make it to the Super Bowl, the pregame show would be replete with the big personalities of Texans players like these.

JJ Watt

It's hard to imagine a guy like Watt who is redefining his position with his insane play on the field also happens to be an enormously likable and engaging personality, but he is. He is larger than life, literally and metaphorically, with a motor that just doesn't stop and, quite clearly, a love for life that extends well beyond the hash marks.


Bryan Braman

This guy once got his helmet knocked off while racing down the field during a kickoff. That happens. But what doesn't happen is the guy missing a helmet flying at the ball character and hitting him with a crushing tackle headfirst. Braman is an animal on the field...a little crazy, but an animal.


Arian Foster

The vegan (mostly), poetry-writing, sly-witted, namaste-bowing pro bowl running back is as interesting off the field as he is to watch on it. He's got the moves of Gale Sayers and the Twitter wisdom of the Dalai Lama. He even posed on the cover of a magazine with a unicorn owing to his general dislike of fantasy sports, of which he is one of the unquestioned leaders.


Kevin Walter

For years now, Walter has played second fiddle to Andre Johnson and has been an unfair victim of the fact that he isn't Lynn Swan to Johnson's John Stallworth. But he is a solid receiver and a fan favorite in the stadium if not on sports talk radio. Off the field, he is one of the team's best interviews and funniest guys.


Connor Barwin

Buzzfeed calls him the biggest hipster in the NFL. He led the team in sacks last year, but probably also in hair gel for his faux hawk. He rides his bike and the light rail when not driving an electric car. He advocates for same-sex marriage and goes to see bands at local venues. At this point, I'm shocked American Apparel hasn't tried to get him as a spokesmodel.


Antonio Smith

When you want a character in the very traditional sense of the NFL, look no further than Smith. The D-lineman is a steady veteran voice, but he's also one of the funniest interviews you will ever hear. He has a weekly show on 1560 that is a must-listen, particularly the regular Shaolin Temple segment, and fancies himself to be a ninja assassin, pulling an imaginary sword after sacks. You can't miss him in his cowboy hat in the locker room either.


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10 comments
astrofan1
astrofan1

@ConnorBarwin98 @ShaunCody95 Hey Shaun, Love the mustache!!!

ConnorBarwin98
ConnorBarwin98

@garcly thanks for the follow. My Instagram won't link to my twitter.

grantste
grantste

@macyarcher @houstonpress @connorbarwin98 @shauncody95 poor fans have gotta fight for scraps.

grantste
grantste

@macyarcher @houstonpress @connorbarwin98 @shauncody95 good job, good effort Macy.

HoustonPress
HoustonPress

@ConnorBarwin98 @ShaunCody95 Hey Shaun, wanna do an interview with me about being snubbed? :) -- Craig

grantste
grantste

@HoustonPress @connorbarwin98 @shauncody95 hold out for better offers, Shaun. Full page ad.

HoustonPress
HoustonPress

@grantste @ConnorBarwin98 @ShaunCody95 I can pay in rad times and shots.

grantste
grantste

@HoustonPress @connorbarwin98 @shauncody95 Shaun's unofficial demands are that I get tickets.

Sellysellsell
Sellysellsell

@gizzofoshizzo LMAO!!! He does have great hair!

GaryGrooviak
GaryGrooviak

Seems incomplete without mention of Shaun Cody.

Duane Brown and Cushing are humorous, in a completely different way.

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