Big Tex: We Offer Our Six Replacements, Starting With Willie Nelson
As you've no doubt heard by now -- or, if you're a Texan, felt like a great disturbance in the force -- State Fair's Big Tex burned to its frame today.
We've got substitutes ready to go
The icon for generations of fairgoers was taken down by an electrical short, so at least we don't have terrorists to blame.
But it's simply too much to ask people to go to the Fair and not be greeted, if not by Tex then by some adequate fill-in.
Luckily, we're here to offer Plan B. And no, it's never "too soon" when it comes to Tex and the Fair.
6. Willie Nelson
Illustrations by Monica Fuentes
Just don't look too closely at what he's using as a pointer. We're sure he'll be more careful with the fire aspect than some unthinking electrical short was.
5. Tony Romo
All fumbled footballs can be kept by lucky fans as souvenirs. Unless they're run back for touchdowns by the opposition.
4. Matthew McConaughey
"It's Bongo Day at the Fair. Please remove all clothing, after you've visited the Willie Nelson kiosk."