Dear Obama, I Don't Really Want to Have Dinner with Beyonce. How About These 5 Celebs?


Awhile back I made a vow that rather than getting upset and arguing over radical rightwing posts on Facebook, I would instead donate $5 to the Obama campaign. It's a lot more proactive, and cuts down on the number of bullshit screamfests that have probably cut years off my lifespan. There was a side effect, though.

Now I get e-mails almost daily from the Obama campaign asking for donations, which is certainly to be expected after you give a politician your e-mail address. The Prez has tried to sweeten the deal lately, though, by offering a chance to win dinner with himself and a celebrity...because apparently the leader of the free world isn't an interesting enough tablemate for some Americans.

I'd like to have dinner with the president. I'm willing to bet even the most hardcore conservative wouldn't turn down that invitation simply because nothing gets attention like opening a conversation with, "Last night I had steak with the guy who controls our robot kill planes." That being said...Sarah Jessica Parker? Beyoncé?

Look, Mr. President, I see what you're trying to do here, but you're better than this. There is no cachet in sitting next to the star of Sex and the City 2 and Hocus Pocus or a singer I know mostly from cable commercials and makeup commercials and Nintendo commercials (Seriously, she does a lot of commercials). I'm happy to have dinner with you, but you have got to pick some more exciting celebrities. Might I suggest?


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5. Joss Whedon
You're the comic-book president. You teamed with Spider-Man and were referenced in Doctor Who. Who better to partner up with than Nerd Prophet Supreme and director of The Avengers? Hell, I'd pay to simply sit and watch the two of you talk.

Topic of conversation: Giles spin-off, dammit!


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4. Clint Eastwood
He wanted to have an imaginary conversation, so offer him a real one. Sure, he'd probably turn it down, but maybe no. After all, Clint's always been a little nutty. Of course, if this actually happened, it would confirm what a lot of people already think, that Eastwood's appearance was actually a plot by you to make the GOP convention look ridiculous.

Topic of conversation: That idiot here in Texas that lynched a chair


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4 comments
Lyndsey Stang
Lyndsey Stang

So the campaign is so desperate that the yhave to use popularity to gain money? You're already stealing it by income tax. No thanks. Stick to music and food, HP. That's why we clicked 'Like', not because we want to attack each other over politics.

Chanel Fisher
Chanel Fisher

What Jimi said, times 1000... U guys are wayyyyy too opinionated for ur own good

Jimi Austin
Jimi Austin

Hey look, more political bullshit from the Houston Press. Please stick to talking about food and music.

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