The Firing Of Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson, Caught On Video And Zaprudered
As promised in my Monday post wrapping up the previous weekend, a weekend that saw Dolphins wide receiver Chad
Chad is confused by events Ochocinco Johnson become former Dolphins wide receiver Chad Ochocinco Johnson, I did tune in to Hard Knocks on Tuesday night to watch Johnson's final episode on the show.
As I watched the first twenty minutes or so of the one-hour program, it felt a little like watching a rerun of the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode where Dylan's wife Toni was viciously murdered in the final few minutes of the show. (Oops, do I need to scream "SPOILER ALERT!" on a program from nearly 20 years ago?)
I mean, for nearly the entire episode of Hard Knocks, Johnson is playfully gallivanting around the practice field, the innocence of a kid's game quite evident, but the whole time I knew...I knew that in the final five minutes...BOOM!! It was coming.
So I pondered how it might all go down. How would Chad Johnson be written out of the Hard Knocks script? Would he leave quietly to study abroad? Would he die in a fiery car crash with no body found, allowing him to possibly return with amnesia in 2013?
Unfortunately, Hard Knocks is not a soap opera (as best I can tell, at least), so it went down in a much more subdued, yet highly Zapruder-able fashion. Let's take a look and then break down the highlights, shall we?
0:05 -- Blended shot of Chad Johnson exiting some sort of minivan and entering the building with a shot of Joe Philbin sitting at what looks to be the receptionist's desk talking to someone, listing all of Johnson's missteps since signing with the Dolphins in June. Philbin lists the transgressions:
1. An incident this summer where he was "tweeting stuff he shouldn't have been"
2. Press conference where he goes off on a tirade "F this and F that"
3. And now "this thing"
"This thing" would be the incident from this past weekend when Johnson got into a domestic spat with his new bride, reality TV star Evelyn Lozada, over a receipt for a box of condoms. Somewhere during that spat, depending on who you believe, either Johnson head-butted his wife or she head-butted him. The one thing we do know is that if Lozada delivered the head butt, she needs more practice as she sustained a three-inch gash on her forehead.
0:34 -- Philbin: "When things are good, they're good, but when they're bad, he can be a tad...well, ya know**..."
** ya-KNOW: adj. 1. mental; 2. insane; 3. idiotic; 4. narcissistic; 5. not worth it
0:38 -- Johnson walks down the hall to Philbin's office, in the process walking past pictures and watercolor paintings of Dolphin legends like Csonka, Kiick, Marino, and Griese, all of whom I'm fairly sure made it through their first two weeks of camp without a spousal abuse incident.
0:47 -- My favorite part of this whole clip is Johnson's attire -- goofy t-shirt, pajama bottoms, and bedroom slippers. It's almost as if the Dolphins picked him up mob-style at the end of his driveway while he was grabbing the morning paper, telling him "Chad, you better come wit' us. The skipper needs to see ya..." Seriously, this is a meeting with your boss where presumably there's a great chance of you getting fired, so you wear slippers? God, that is awesome.