Nick Saban's Daughter Gets Sued for Beating the Snot Out of Her Sorority Sister

Alabama head coach Nick Saban is known for a few things: winning national championships (two in the last three seasons), a steely demeanor (and by steely, I mean he's kind of a jerk), meticulous attention to detail (ask the Dolphins office worker who misplaced his Little Debbie snack cakes) and a hair trigger temper (don't piss him off).

You can't choose your parents, and I'm certain that being Nick Saban's daughter has its perks, but Kristen Saban unfortunately appears to have inherited her old man's temper.

And we have the court case to prove it!

It seems a couple years ago (August 29, 2010, to be exact), Kristen Saban got into a bit of a spat with one of her sorority sisters, a gal by the name of Sarah Grimes (also known in the Civil Division of the 6th Judicial Circuit as "Plaintiff"). On a warm August night, beers were consumed, things were said, barbs were posted on Facebook, and eventually punches were thrown. Kristen did most of the punching, Sarah's face did most of the receiving.

So what started as a nice game of "Power Hour" (a drinking game on YouTube) among sorority sisters turned into a melee that had one of the girls looking like she just finished a Singapore cane match with Abdullah the Butcher.

The short story on all of this is that a civil case was filed Wednesday by Sarah Grimes against Kristen Saban and is now pending in a Tuscaloosa court. You can read the entire filing online, and it's spectacular, chock full of cat fight specials like concussions, cervical strains, contusions, humiliation, and permanent emotional and psychological injury.

In fact, how about I go ahead and copy the whole thing here and just give you my running commentary. Sound good? (As always, you can find my comments in between transcribed items preceded by "SP."):

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF TUSCALOOSA COUNTY, ALABAMA 6TH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT CIVIL DIVISION SARAH GRIMES, ) ) Plaintiff, ) ) VS. KRISTEN SABAN, ) Defendant. ) COMPLAINT

1. The Plaintiff is over the age of nineteen (19) years; and she is attending the University of Alabama.

2. The Defendant is over the age of nineteen (19) years; and she is attending the University of Alabama.

3. In August 2010, Kristen Saban and Sarah Grimes were friends and sorority sisters.

SP: Key word here is "were" on both counts, friends AND sorority sisters. They were sisters in the Phi Mu sorority, but Kristen is no longer welcome there, and I'm fairly certain that a civil lawsuit has strained the friendship to where the two girls are not friends anymore either.

4. On Saturday, August 28, 2010, Kristen Saban, McKinnon Moultrie, Hannah Muncher, and Meaghan Williams were playing "power hour" which is a drinking game on YouTube, where you drink every time the song changes.

SP: Two things here. First, if you were filming a movie in SEC country and you needed to create an "entitled Southern belle" character, I'm pretty sure "McKinnon Moultrie" would be her name. Also, I'm guessing that, unless there's a Becky Gobbler or a Lovie Head on campus, Hannah Muncher has locked up the title of "girl with most 'behind her back, bawdy nicknames'" at the University of Alabama.

5. Sarah Grimes arrived around 11:00 pm and began playing "power hour." 6. Around 12:00 a.m., August 29, 2010, Kristen, McKinnon, Hannah, Meaghan, and Sarah went to the bar called Rounders.

7. At the bar, the drinking continued and Kristen's behavior became more erratic.

8. Kristen had been dating "BV" who was also at Rounder's that night.

9. Kristen became angry with "BV" because he was not paying enough attention to her.

SP: First, in defense of "BV," Kristen Saban strikes me as the kind of girl where anything less than "total fawning and a compliment every two minutes" is considered "not paying enough attention." Now, I will say that if it's late August and you're a guy dating the Alabama head coach's daughter, considering the perks that are probably available in the form of tickets and access on game day, it's probably wise to give her whatever attention is necessary to keep the relationship going until after the bowl game is over, or at the very least once the Tide have been mathematically eliminated from the SEC race.