Tax Day: The 5 Best Things About It
Normally, that's a terrible thing. No one except Warren Buffett is eager to pay taxes. And it's worse for us members of the hoi polloi, for while we're handing over a big chunk of our wages, we do it knowing some one-percenter member of the lucky sperm club is paying at a rate less than us.
But enough with all the negativity!!
Let's examine all the fun that comes with tax day!!
5. TV news coverage
Is there a more thrilling tableau in television news than the local reporter standing by the post office or mailbox as late filers mail their returns? We think not. You can have your battlefields, your plane crashes -- we'll take the black-bean-drawing reporter who at least gets to deliver the annual use of the word "procrastinator."
And if there's anything more incisive and rewarding than an interview with one of those late filers, we can't thing what it might be.
4. The unimaginable horrors that befall someone who files at 12:01 a.m. the day after Tax Day
We've never actually heard of anyone who's been penalized for filing one day late, but the media coverage of Tax Day leads us to the only logical conclusion: Being even one minute late must result in terrible, sadistic results. We imagine waterboarding is the least of it. So enjoy a little shadenfreude today because you won't be facing all that.
3. It's the one big moment for the "Tax Freedom Day" people
If there's one day they're guaranteed a mention, it's today. You might think it would be on the date that they declare "Tax Freedom Day," but it's such a hack story news organizations avoid it if they can, unless they're Fox. Today, though, you have to cover taxes, so you might as well throw in a mention of the day. (It's tomorrow.)
2. Maybe you'll be getting a refund!!
In which case some CPA-wannabe will take joy in pointing out that if you'd filed earlier, you'd be getting interest on that cash instead of letting it sit in Uncle Sam's vault.
1. You can be happy for all those corporations that don't pay any tax
GE and Verizon are people too, Mitt Romney says, so we should all be happy for them that they manage to pay no federal taxes on their billions in income. Maybe someday this can happen to you!!
Also, check our list of the 10 hottest IRS commissioners EVER.
Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.