Six Stupid Reasons to Move to Austin, a Mediocre Town
Some mewling mouth-breather named Ed Reed on a blog called Thought Catalog has fallen in love with Austin and listed off six reasons why more Yankees and Californians should move there and join him. And of course, there's an obligatory, misinformed slam on Houston, but more on that later...
Todd Ross Nienkerk, That Other Paper The ghost of Stevie Ray greets a fresh crop of smug slackers.
He says it's cheap to live there, and I guess if you are coming from NYC, he might have a point. For the rest of us, bargains are hard to come by, save for the glamorous environs of beautiful Ben White Boulevard.
It always amuses me when some Houston hipster trades in their Montrose or Heights apartment for an allegedly cooler tomorrow in some cul-de-sac in Cedar Park or Manor.
Reed also exults in finding a $4 six-pack of beer.
Sounds kinda mythical to me, but I will say this: Back in high school, pre-beach trips, my friends and I used to stock up my two-tone, Gem-Topped El Camino with $5 cases of Carling Black Label at the Hillcroft Fiesta, and similar bargains can be had there to this day. And the beach was just an hour away, which is more than ever could be said for Austin, barring a quantum leap in transportation technology or a geological catastrophe.
His second reason to move to Austin? "There are jobs." Yes, in OfficeMaxes and Sonics in Round Rock. Oh, okay, the job market is better in Austin than elsewhere in Depression Lite America, but the situation is even better here, and as we mentioned earlier, Austin ain't cheap.
Next he claims that the people are friendly. Only when they aren't telling you to go back home, rolling their eyes at your unfashionable attire or telling you how much your hometown sucks compared to Austin.
In the number four slot, he dares to praise Austin's weather. Look, Houston's weather sucks five months a year. We know this. But at least our summers are (ordinarily) punctuated with amazing tropical thunderstorms. Austin is scorching and tediously so. And give me 95 percent humidity over cedar fever any day.
Next, he goes on to tout all the stuff there is to do in Austin, and here's where what little feeble brainpower he showcased earlier dims to oblivion.