Texas Rangers Unveil Two-Foot-Long Hot Dog Covered in Everything (w/ "Making Of" VIDEO)
Whether it's the television show Man vs Food or our fascination with the competitive eating circuit, never has the American public been more hell-bent on trying to eat its collective self into a collective coma.
It ain't the meat, it's the motion.
As new and exciting food challenges at bars and restaurants drive cholesterol and heart rates through the roof around the country, major league sports venues have climbed aboard the gluttony train.
The latest salvo fired comes from the Texas Rangers and the Rangers Ballpark at Arlington.
Say hello to the "Boomstick," a one-pound, two-foot-long hot dog that when completely adorned with the fixings will send you home from the ballpark feeling like Nelson Cruz has repeatedly beaten your lower intestines with his bat.
What are those fixings? Well, try a layer of chili covered in caramelized onions, a layer of melted jalapeño cheese, and then (presumably just in case the jalapeño cheese wasn't jalapeño-y enough for you) some actual jalapeño peppers.
When asked about this gastrointestinal menace, Casey Rapp, operations manager for Sportsservice, which handles concessions at the park, said, "I don't know how many calories are in this thing, but it's got to be 2,000 or 3,000." As if there's no difference between 2,000 and 3,000, and honestly if you're talking about one food item and one sitting, there probably isn't. You're tangibly shaving minutes off of your life either way.
"We did a half-pound hot dog during the World Series and wanted to top it," Rapp said. "Our company had to have the hot dog made special and we had to find a local bakery to make the bun. The bun is like a loaf of bread just to hold this thing."
Total price for the "Boomstick"? $26.
To put the sheer magnitude of this piece de cardiac resistance in perspective, the regular "Jumbo Dog" at the ballpark is one sixth of a pound (and $4.50), so the mere hot dog portion of the "Boomstick" is six times a regular hot dog sitting.
As you can imagine, portability of the item would be a bit of an issue. That's why Rapp's crew has given the "Boomstick" a special carrier, complete with handles. Not that I'm one to chastise people for their food choices, but if you're buying food that requires its own luggage, it may be time to re-evaluate you choices. Carriers with handles are fine if you're checking luggage at the airport, not so much if you're looking for a snack in the third inning.