Forget Blue-Eyed Butcher: Casting Lifetime Movies About Felicia Moon, Victoria Osteen & 3 Others

Categories: Television

Blue-Eyed Butcher was Lifetime's take on the Susan Wright case.

It certainly wasn't the first TV movie to be based on a Houston case, and it won't be the last. In fact, there are plenty of Houston stories just begging to be made into Lifetime movies. Like these five:

5. Trail Ridin' Dirty: The Felicia Moon Story
The passion of a former NFL quarterback's ex-wife cannot be denied as she takes a trail ride into the rodeo. Under the starlit skies, she and her new beau score big -- until the cops come in and tarnish their love with charges of public sex. Starring Phylicia Rashad as Felicia Moon and Dennis Haysbert as the guy she was riding like a buckin' bronco..

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4. Talk to the Hand: The Strange Loves of Michael Brown
A Houston hand doctor puts women in jeopardy, uses them like Kleenex, does drugs and vacations in exotic locales (portrayed in the movie by San Diego suburbs). In other words, a story made for Lifetime. Starring Alan Rickman as Michael Brown and Sean Penn as Jeff Bagwell, the baseball hero dating Brown's wife.

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3. For God's Sake: The Trial of Victoria Osteen
When the wife of an extremely popular megachurch pastor can't get good service on her flight to Vail, an epic courtroom battle ensues. Starring Missi Pyle as Victoria Osteen, Jerry Seinfeld as Joel Osteen, Queen Latifah as the flight attendant who sued and William F. Buckley as Osteen attorney Rusty Hardin.
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Production note: Buckley not only had to learn a Texas accent, he had to become undead, a feat rivaled only by DeNiro in Raging Bull. Also, the flight attendant's attorney can be played by only one man:
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8 comments
Khalil McMillan
Khalil McMillan

Here's my thing (a reference to the Chris Carter genius idea of a show, Millennium).  The movie wasnt that bad.  I HATE LIFETIME AND EVERYTHING IT BROADCASTS AND SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENTS (LIKE FOX NEWS...)...That said?  I have pissed off women.  I have been slapped like their hands were box fan blades during the hottest night in Houston..  When a woman STABS a man ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY THREE TIMES?  Yo....?  That begs the question....how did he bring this upon himself?

Khalil McMillan
Khalil McMillan

Um.  Mr. Connelly.  All Black people don't look alike.  Mrs./Ms. Rashad looks nothing like Ms. Moon.  Queen Lah looks nothing like the flight attendant.  I'm one of the few fans on Hairballs you have, sir.  Take a page outta the Dave Chappelle Anthology, and "Ask a Black Person" the next time you choose what Black person looks like another.  I know it's satire, man.  I'm just making a suggestion, good sir.  Carry on, Soldier.

meh
meh

Re: the Osteen movie, Jamie Foxx should play the flight attendant and the guy who played Niles the butler on "The Nanny" should play Rusty Hardin.  Seinfeld isn't pointy enough to play Osteen.

Also, Bagwell doesn't deserve Sean Penn.

Cityslicker
Cityslicker

The guy for Dr. Brown is too good looking to play him. Anyone who has seen the good doctor in one of his "finer moments" would agree that Jack Nicholson's look in "The Shining" is by far a better match....fat, sweaty, and balding! Dr Brown needs no encouragement in his arrogance...PLEEEZZZ!

Tunnel Mole
Tunnel Mole

Yeah, don't do that to Alan Rickman!! Jack can handle being a scumbag.

Seriously!?!
Seriously!?!

I like Angela Bassett more for th flight attendant,

Hbeard85
Hbeard85

Wow! Great casting choices! They almost look like before-and-after makeovers... Spot on. The Victoria Osteen one was my fav.

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