5 Ways the Super Bowl Can Kill or Maim You (Or Your Dog!), According to Experts

Categories: Football, Sports

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Danger lurks on Super Bowl Sunday.
Earlier this week we brought you the solemn warning from Methodist Hospital, urging people to remember to pee during the Super Bowl.

If you don't, an expert said, you might end up in the ER with a catheter inserted into places you'd rather not have such things inserted.

But that is not the only way that experts say medical disasters, both life-threatening and otherwise, can mar your Super Bowl-viewing experience.

Among the warnings that have been given out, such dangers include:

5. Overfarting
Heed:

"The gluttonous marathon that is Super Bowl Sunday is tantamount to putting a 100-pound weight on a 10-pound hook when it comes to your gastrointestinal tract," says Bill Downs, a Philadelphia nutritionist and author of trafon.org, a self-proclaimed "fart blog." "We're talking big-time farting."

4. The buffet table can be a germ orgy
Like many medical warnings, this one included wince-inducing football references:

Avoid penalties for "illegal use of hands." Unclean hands are one of the biggest culprits for spreading bacteria, and finger foods at parties are especially vulnerable.

3. Heart attacks
Not just from a tense game, either. Overeating can lead to more than gas:


An extraordinarily heavy meal quadruples the risk of a heart attack in the first two hours after eating, the American College of Cardiology recently reported.

2. Dog-trampling
If you're not watching the Puppy Bowl, you may be putting your beloved dog at risk, one expert says.

One of the bad things about a bunch of folks moving around (perhaps a little tipsy already) is that people can step on puppy paws. Your pup isn't always as big as everyone else, and may get trampled or hurt....The game may lead to your guests replaying a touchdown, and your pup can end up on the receiving end of a bad play.

1. DWI
This one is, of course, the most serious. Everyone's on the usual Sunday NFL schedule, so when the game doesn't finish up until 9 p.m. or so a whole lot of drinking has been done, and people can head home in no shape to drive.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports a 41 percent increase in the average number of fatalities after 21 of the 27 last Super Bowl telecasts. That's higher than the increased number of New Year's Eve fatalities over the past two decades.

Stay safe out there, people. And dogs.


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1 comments
Wyatt
Wyatt

"The game may lead to your guests replaying a touchdown, and your pup can end up on the receiving end of a bad play."

What in the fuck possesses people to write shit like that

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