Super Bowl Ads: Bud Skews Decrepit, Clint Endorses Obama -- 5 Things We Learned

Chevrolet: The car for mass murder

What did we learn? These five things:

5. Budweiser has a hard-on for Prohibiition
Because your target demographic is, we guess, is prople who remember fondly when beer was made legal again in 1933.

4. Never ever believe a baby ad
Babies = CGI, whether they're giving financial advice or bungee-jumping for junk food. Borrrrring.

3. Cameo in a Super Bowl ad equals career death
Yeah, just keep telling yourself you're playfully trading off your image and you're a coup for whatever product you're hawking. It's one step over a Coushatta casino gig.

2. Clint Eastwood is an Obama supporter
Maybe he didn't intend it, but every one of these "We're coming back" ads is practically an Obama in `12 campaign ad.

1. Massive extinction of human life is funny
Every man, woman, gurgling baby, tow-headed smiling youth, all dead or lying helplessly breathing their last as their lifeblood seeps slowly, tortuously away.

Should have driven a Chevy!!!