Caption This Shirtless-Joel Osteen Photo

Categories: Spaced City

TMZ has blessed us with this photo of Lakewood's just-sued Joel Osteen, who obviously has been able to take time from helping the poor and downtrodden to work out a couple of hours a day.

joelnoshirt.jpg

Obviously, it needs a caption. We ask for your help.

Our suggestions:

-- And the Lord said, let there be abs

-- Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Getting Cut, Bro

-- If Jesus didn't want me to work out, he wouldn't have created 24-Hour Fitness

-- I am thy shepherd, thou shalt not want Muscle Milk


Add your own in the comments.

My Voice Nation Help
52 comments
Missvickie57
Missvickie57

 If he works out in his spare time who cares?  If you do,  your either an atheist or jealous of whatever it may be,  his money,  body you name it. Live and let live.  If you dont like dont look or listen. Pretty simple!!

Pdenning
Pdenning

"Abs-olutely Osteen-tatios"

Guest
Guest

It's Supernatural.

kana_hrd
kana_hrd

my roomate's step-aunt makes $67/hr on the computer. She has been fired from work for 10 months but last month her check was $7979 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site...MakeCash10.com=============================================================

kana_hrd
kana_hrd

my roomate's step-aunt makes $67/hr on the computer. She has been fired from work for 10 months but last month her check was $7979 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site..MakeCash10.com

Brouilly1
Brouilly1

thou ought not surf with sunglasses and hat; be it not far from me, in that case, to inflict grievous shark bites unto ye

Smedley
Smedley

Then the Lord said, "...Go on and take this beefcake and eat it, all of you, for it is my bod."

dissapointed
dissapointed

In the world of surfing nothing out-douches a stand-up paddle boarder- therefore, I am not surprised in the least that this colossal prick rides a paddle board. How does this "man of god" sleep at night (in all seriousness, probably really well on a $5,000 memory foam mattress) when people out there can't afford food or a roof over their head. Monetary gain from "the lord's work" is disgusting. Go read Mark 11:15-19. WWJD?

Jdev
Jdev

As I laughed at these commentsI wasAlarmed at your ignorance! I thought of Hosea 4:6 and you were the reminder. Instead of Gods word being a sword in your hand to strike against another, I pray it might be an arrow towards your heart and save you from the death of your ignorance.Thank you for reminding me of how once I was so riddled with hate but now set free in Christ. Hope you make it.

Boxers or briefs
Boxers or briefs

Memory foam mattresses are much more than $5,000, if you're doing it right.

Texashotsos
Texashotsos

 Amen dissapointed....perfectly worded!

shadeaux14
shadeaux14

Hey baby.............Wanna see what the Lord "Endowed" me with?

Guest
Guest

I thought he could "walk on" water.

John
John

99% of the people looking at that picture wish that shark fins were green.

VespaTex
VespaTex

God didn't answer my prayers for more surf...

Tex_1973
Tex_1973

Then he said, "let there be light."  But man's pastiness proved his unending capacity for ignoring God's creation.

Tweerts1386
Tweerts1386

Umm what is so wrong with looking good just because you're a preacher? 

Has American society degraded that much?

Tunnel Mole
Tunnel Mole

Wait--Joel Osteen is a preacher?!

What Would Jesus Bench Press?

H_e_x
H_e_x

By golly, I think you found the one point that descended the United States into the hell-hole it's in now. 

KAC
KAC

Jesus don't want me for a Sunbeam?

Paid for by your donations. Thanks Lakewood!

Jeff
Jeff

And on the 8th day, God created Joel Osteen's abs.

Md
Md

My Body is a Temple

Grystar
Grystar

OMG paparazzi, and i forgot my to apply my suntan in a bottle.

Robert
Robert

Thereis nothing wrong or vain in taking time during the day to workout. What a condescendingand stupid statement.  I don’t goto Lakewood, but people who gang up on someone for being in shape just seemsbitter.  Hatemakes you ugly.  Peace!

M
M

All three lines were taken from the Bible.  The first is from Timothy, but with the addition of the "PX90."  The second is probably very familiar, but (obviously) I added the bit about crunches and abs.  The last one, however, is a verbatim quote (Ecclesiastes 12:8).  Isn't it odd that the "word of God" is the one you seem to most find offensive. 

H_e_x
H_e_x

It's ok Joel, you can drown out the sounds of people making fun of you with the wads of money you get from your suckers, I mean  congregation.

Klwright8
Klwright8

Calling statements stupid and people ugly?

Peace

M
M

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my PX90 course, I have kept the faith."

"Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, and 10,000 crunches for these abs."

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher; all is vanity.

Lyndsey Stark Stang
Lyndsey Stark Stang

He preaches to be good to your body.  Looks like he followed the Bible. haha

Vickie4357
Vickie4357

If God is willing, I WILL get that Mystic Tan!

Ummaktl
Ummaktl

I love " And the Lord said, Let there be abs". There's no sin in looking good!

Houstonhero
Houstonhero

Gave us this day our daily protein powder.

ribalding
ribalding

It doesn't count as a miracle if you have a floatation device.

Connelly Mark
Connelly Mark

Oh Lord Help Me! I do believe my Rolex has slipped from my arm! V I C T O R I A !  Oh lord please part the sea! V I C T O R I A! 

Rjw0316
Rjw0316

Someone who obviously takes care of his body, mind and soul.  God bless you Pastor Osteen.

Mlp
Mlp

If you are stupid enough to pay me to be the mouthpiece for God, how do you expect me to be spending my time?  I'm just keeping God's temple buff.

Djoelaw
Djoelaw

Thank God for chest waxing.

Craig Hlavaty
Craig Hlavaty

This Ain't Lakewood Church XXX: A Porn Parody

Your Best Abs Now

Joel Ho-Steen

The Sexevangelist

Now Trending

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...