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| Soda?! I ain't drinkin' no soda. |
Christmas is a time for parties, and apparently no one knows more about hard partying than Kris Kringle himself.
You can't blame the man -- anyone facing the pressure of successfully overnighting millions of gifts and checking the goddamn list twice needs to blow off some steam.
And Claus is apparently the guy you want to do it with, if vintage ads are any indication. Dude knows how to bring the supplies that any party needs.
10. Crown Royal
Ain't no rotgut for Santa. His workshop is littered with purple sacks.
9. Cigs
When you've stared down the Hun across No Man's Land, when you've lost more reindeer to mustard gas than you care to remember, when even a Montmartre whore can't get the awful death screams of elves out of your head, you're entitled to a cigarette, no matter what the damn FDA says about it.
8. Lighter
And therefore you're going to need a lighter. Not to mention it'll come in handy around the bong.
7. Loose Women
What happens at a Claus party stays at a Claus party, and it usually begins with a little upskirt action.
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