Pop Rocks: Perry Is Done. Would He Have Been Worse Than These Movie Presidents?

Categories: Pop Rocks

You've probably seen it by now, but just in case you haven't, here's the precise moment Governor Rick Perry's campaign went irrevocably into the toilet:

Anyone anticipating a long, drawn-out embarrassment of primaries and caucuses will be disappointed. As will those of us anticipating at least another year's worth of cheap shots and hilarious blog entries fueled by Perry's nigh bottomless well of gaffes and idiocy.

But that's all over now. So here are five movie Commanders-in-Chief that might have been worse than President Perry.

Pres. Allan Richmond (Gene Hackmen) Absolute Power

Aside from Andrew Jackson, I can't think of any other President who personally killed another human being. And at least Jackson did it in a duel and not as a result of rough sex gone wrong.


Pres. Jim Dale (Jack Nicholson) Mars Attacks

I have maintained for years that the aliens, when they land, will not be doe-eyed meat loaves with legs like E.T., but arachnoid horrors from the Probe Nebula. Dale should have listened to Rod Steiger.


Pres. Bennett (Donald Moffat) Clear and Present Danger

"The old Potomac Two-Step." In all honesty, Bennett is probably closer to actual Presidents than anybody else on this list.


Pres. Camacho (Terry Crews) Idiocracy

In retrospect, if all Presidents threatened to kick those who failed to complete objectives in the nuts and send them to prison, our economy might not be in the state it's in today.


Pres. Richard M. Nixon (Philip Baker Hall) Secret Honor

A speculative portrayal in a lesser-known Robert Altman film, but tops the list because this deranged paranoid was actually our President.


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9 comments
Fejsplace
Fejsplace

Believe me I'm no Perry fan, but I guess all you learned souls have never had your mind go blank on you when you're doing something you've done hundreds of times.  It's frustrating as all get out.  No matter how hard you try to remember nothing will come to mind.  Kinda like when a pretty girl comes up to you and all you can do is stand there looking stupid. At least that's what I've been told.

Thenonymous
Thenonymous

Maybe he should suggest that the next debate format be one in which the candidates have to shoot at imaginary coyotes.

H_e_x
H_e_x

Makes Bush the Second look like a learned man. Of course, this won't surprise anyone here in Texas. There is a reason he avoids debates like they were books, they go way over his head.That being said, President Camacho would be pretty awesome *flicks off everyone, throws beer behind back*

Scott218
Scott218

Would he have been worst? I hope that's a typo and it wasn't your intention to use that choice of words for the title. But seriously, are we choosing our nominees solely on their ability to debate? While I do think it's a piece of the puzzle, I don't ever recall seeing any President have to debate once he's gotten the job. Too much emphasis is placed on the debates for choosing who we elect.

Thenonymous
Thenonymous

You're wrong, Scott. This is important.

His speech patterns are highly indicative of someone who has not thought seriously about the things he professes to deeply believe. The reason that he couldn't remember the agency which he claims to "want to cut on day one", is because to him it's really not important. It's a mere utterance to him - just noises coming out of his mouth. He's like a high school kid who cheated on the test to get a good grade, therefor he didn't learn anything, so he can't discuss it when asked about the cirriculum.

An inability to take matters seriously - particularly ones that impact the day to day lives of all Americans - is good cause to discard that candidate out of hand.

Scott218
Scott218

Maybe we can have them do stand up comedy and see who performs better. That's about as relevant to the Presidency as debating.

MadMac
MadMac

Further, (with respect to Katy and Thenonymous) debates also put the candidate in the crucible where we can see how they perform on their feet and under pressure. Their's a reason the Romans mantained this tradition from the Greeks. 

Katy
Katy

I don't agree.

I think being able to speak in a convincing way - and allowing potential voters to see how your thinking process works - is important to them building trust for one candidate over others. 

I have a WAY more positive opinion of Romney after seeing how he can think on his feet and how quick and likable he is. I probably still won't be voting for him, but I'm not afraid of a Romney Presidency the way I might have been otherwise...

Katy
Katy

What is so beautiful about that Perry clip is how firm and resolute he is speaking at the BEGINNING of that sentence compared with what happens towards the END of the sentence.He means it, man (even if he doesn't know what "it" is)...

My worst movie President vote would be for President Lindberg (played by Tommy Lister) from "The Fifth Element." That guy was in way over his head.

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