Tina Marie Arie: Gives Hummer to Co-Defendant En Route to Jail

Categories: Crime

ARIE.TINA_.jpg
Tina Marie Arie
It looked at first like a routine call for the Montgomery County Precinct 4 constable: an intoxicated male passed out inside a Whataburger in Porter. After all, passing out in and around Whataburgers is a proud Texas tradition.

But this case turned out at first to be a little something more, and then, before it was over, the kind of story the cop will be telling in barrooms for the rest of his life.

When the cop arrived at the Whataburger around two p.m., he found 30-year-old Howard Keith Windham at a table inside. The New Caney man was slapping around an unidentified zonked-out buddy in an attempt to rouse him from a pill-induced stupor while their friend, 44-year-old Tina Marie Arie of Porter, looked on.

When the cop started rifling through the unconscious man's pockets, he allegedly found dozens of Soma and hydrocodone pills. Meanwhile, Windham was seen dropping another Soma pill under the table and was soon found to have another one in his pocket. Under questioning, Arie admitted that she had given the still-slumbering man some of her stash, and the cop later found partially empty pill bottles in her car.

That was enough for the cop. Rip Van Whataburger was whisked away to an area hospital, and Windham was arrested for possession of a controlled substance and Arie for delivery of same. Both were cuffed and stuffed in the back of his patrol car.

But a funny thing happened on the way to jail....

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Howard Keith Windham
Glancing in his rearview mirror, the cop noticed some unusual movements taking place in the back seat. Looking closer, he noticed that he could no longer see Arie, and inquired as to her whereabouts. After what we imagine had to be a little pause, and perhaps a gulp or two, she replied that she was tired and had laid her head down in Windham's lap.

The cop then pulled off to the side of the road, and discovered that the reason Arie's head was in Windham's lap had nothing to do with fatigue. Nope. As the Montgomery County Police Reporter puts it, "Windham's pants were unfastened and Arie was servicing his exposed genitalia." Yep, that's what they call a "blue-light special." (And somehow, these two managed to find a way to drop his pants even though both had their hands cuffed.)

The cop told the lovebirds to behave and took them on to jail without filing any extra charges. Which is as it should be: That's the kind of break you might expect if you give a cop the story of a lifetime.

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17 comments
Lepatrick Smith
Lepatrick Smith

Evry nigga shuld hav a rydin ass bich like dis 1 now only if she can sing like da otha tina marie she a b perfek

disqusdik
disqusdik

I guess this is one ugly woman who learned to compensate for her looks by becoming proficient in other areas. Kudos to her for turning lemons into lemonade (even if the lemonade is a little salty).

Zan
Zan

Y'all are talking about her like he's some kind of prize... ugh.

Pervy McDirty
Pervy McDirty

I wouldn't let that meth-mouth skazzwag anywhere near my wang-dang-doodle.

bluedye33139
bluedye33139

Do not name your daughters Tina Marie! Who doesn't know this already?

Ipackin
Ipackin

funniest.story. evah!

Scretch
Scretch

If that is a cop's "story of a lifetime" I think the cop needs to get out more.

Geezy
Geezy

This chick here looks a mess, but give her credit- she was able to lean over, unzip dudes jeans, take his dick out of his underpants and suck him off. That's some talent!!! Talk about a sex athlete.

the smoker you get
the smoker you get

Indeed, one would have to be wasted to let that herp slurp on me .....

BamaLuke
BamaLuke

You made Gawker dude...go check out the comments.  Those provincial east/west coast nitwits obviously don't get the geographical nuances of the state.  Hello people, only East Texans deserve our ridicule.  Although, I am happy a few knowledgeable folks stepped up to defend Whataburger.

http://gawker.com/5859844/arre...

Sancho
Sancho

A guy would have to be passed out on pills to let that thing touch his thing...

Early Cuyler
Early Cuyler

What is in the water up there in the Toothless Triangle?

Stoveboltexpress
Stoveboltexpress

 Sadly, she was so totally toasted, she forgot that she had already worked out his stick. That's how she got the pills. She is a dumbass, she paid for them twice I wonder if that load of spooge affected her reading if they tested her to see if she was drunk as well as piled out to be sure she did 't drop dead in the holding cell. I am a Deputy Sheriff and I have seen almost the same thing. Just not when they are moving but waiting in the car to go to jail while details of the case and other suspects involved were being ironed out. My partner got a cell phone camera photo. It's not anything you would want to see as this one os better than the one in our car. She had meth mouth. Sheeeeesh. Makes you wanna do yoga and learn to do yourself before depending on those skanks.

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