The Astros Are Heading to the Promised Land -- The American League!

yanks111711.jpg
Say hello to Yankee Fan.
As a major league sport, baseball has always done a fairly good job of keeping itself relevant throughout the calendar year. (Football is the king of year-round relevancy. Basketball is the court jester. Baseball lies somewhere in between.)

November is normally a fun baseball month because the awards for the season are handed down, but since the next Houston Astro to figure prominently in an individual award race is probably playing in junior high right now, we need to find other ways to consume baseball in these winter months.

Thankfully, we have today's Astro ownership change and league change to sink our teeth into.

By and large, I think Astro fans are all for the ownership change and against the league change. Unfortunately, you can't have one without the other. They are inextricably linked. If you date Kim Kardashian because you like her fruity booty, you still have to deal with her narcissism and the strong chance she may dump you at any minute for the backup point guard for the Rio Grande Valley Vipers.

It's the exact same thing. Really, it is.

Soooooo, with that in mind....can I get an AMEN?...No really, can I get an AMEN?....Okay, fine. Maybe for a lot of you, most of you, this move to the American League will take some getting used to, especially those of you who grew up here and have been used to Houston being a National League city for the last 50 years. I understand that change doesn't come easy, but I'm here to share a few facts with you about this move to the American League that in time you will come to learn and embrace as I have:

5. Watching pitchers hit sucks
It's like watching a kicker try to play quarterback or watching Andrew Shue try to recite Shakespeare. Actually, I stand corrected. THOSE things are actually trainwrecky fun to watch. Watching pitchers hit is like watching an eight-year-old in the FAST cage at the batting cages. Boring. Waste of time. Finally, I get to watch hitters hit and pitchers pitch right here where I live. And I can name at least ten "National League fan" friends of mine who just punched their computer screens reading this. Settle down, strategy dorks. Which brings me to....

4. You'll survive watching games without the edge-of-your-seat drama of the double switch.
Trust me, the game can still be fun without a ninth-inning lineup where the pitcher's spot is batting cleanup and some slappy outfielder is in the nine hole, and a second baseman changes over to third base in the middle of an inning so that the manager can slot a lefty against a lefty. Or whatever amalgamation of overthought moves you can string together. You'll still have fun. And if you're not having fun at the games, may I suggest beer?

3. The Yankees and the Red Sox will now come to Minute Maid at least once per season, and this is a good thing
Sure, this may mean that you get Yankee Fan and Sawx Fan for an extra weekend each season, but at least someone will be spending money downtown. Hell, if the Astros had realigned a couple years ago, maybe the B.U.S. wouldn't have closed. (Moment of silence....)

(NOTE: I had a few people point out to me that the B.U.S. is still open. Judging by the crowds there, you could have fooled me.)

My Voice Nation Help
24 comments
Randallkbridges
Randallkbridges

The DH removes strategy from the game and changes it dramatically. Second, it makes us play a bunch of teams we don't know and don't know us. You may say this is minor, but it's akin to A&M moving to SEC--some may like it that A&M won't play Texas again or OU or OSU or Tech...I happen to not like it that we won't see Cards, Reds, Mets, Dodgers anymore...this is more tradition, but it matters. This has been our league for more than 40 years, and unlike A&M's move, we (the Astros organization and fans) have had no say in the change...we didn't choose to go to AL, we've been forced against our will. Bud Selig basically raped the city of Houston against their will. Third, AL west move means we will play and additional 20 games a year on west coast with late starting times. Old people like me cant watch games that start at 9:30pm...I have to work in the morning. It also seems likely that this will delay the start time at our home games, making them later too. I'll bet the 6pm starts are a thing of the past and our regular starts may be 7:35 instead of 7:05. Bud Selig has been ruining baseball for a long time.

Brian
Brian

A rivalry with the Rangers? NOGAF. Not Rangers fans. Not Astros fans. Nobody. Anywhere. 

Yankees and Red Sox? Apparently that's all there is in the AL, because you never hear mention of the Orioles, A's, Mariners, Angels, Royals, Blue Jays, Twins, Indians... Sounds like a metric buttload of tickets that'll be a hard-sell. And we can't even look forward to them coming here and hoping they'll struggle with playing our style of game, because now we're hosting brainless baseball too. Yippee.

The Astros will be right there at the bottom where we have no rivalries and no talent to contest for anything except the last slot. The only draw the Astros will provide to other teams will be the perception they'll be an easy out for the home team so fans will turn out for the guaranteed win. But we're supposed to be ok with this because - Yankees! Red Sox! Yay! - don't think so.

The Astro's irrelevance has been set in stone.  

DeathBreath
DeathBreath

Drayton, if you are reading this, go back to Baylor & dip those stupid fucking caged bears in gold leaf like you did with the dome of Pat Neff.  You ruined the Astros. 

Wlb2121
Wlb2121

Who is the idiot writing this piece? I think I had forgotten more about baseball by the time I was in high school than this moron will ever know. If you want fast paced entertainment, stick to something like MMA(grown men rolling around in shorts-very homosexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that). Remember that your infantile ramblings are just opinion, not fact. Baseball appeals to those who can contribute a coherent thought. You sir, obviously, cannot.

J
J

Don't be ignorant- The NL central teams most definitely do know Houston.  That is a huge lie.  No one gives a shit about the Rangers.  You can not force a rivalry.  As for the Yankees and Red Sox, well lets just talk Yankees since no one here really cares much about Boston.  Who gives a damn about New York?  It's not worth giving up St. Louis and Chicago for the Yankees.  Get lost Houston Press...if it was a good deal then there would not be so many people pissed right now.  If it was a good deal then MLB would not be discounting the price for the new retard owner. One more thing- ppl do like watching the players bat.  It's called baseball, and everyone is supposed to bat.  Ok my rant is over. Let me peruse your over abundance of porn based ads that the Houston Press seems to be full of.  Very legitimate I might add...

Kyle M
Kyle M

Thank you for saying this, Sean. Especially point #2.

I am a lifelong Astros fan, but the one-way hatred of other teams is just sad. Everyone keeps saying that the Brewers should have gone back to the AL. You know what, Houston? The way you feel about Milwaukee is exactly how every other city feels about us.

Relish the underdog role, enjoy beating the Rangers in meaningful games, and stop leaning on weak (length of games)/ignorant (AL baseball isn't worthy of attention) arguments for your displeasure.

Yes, we had 50 years in the NL. But if all the Astros could do in that time is work their way into the footnotes of baseball's narrative, then why should we expect anyone to care what happens here?

J
J

Not really- the cardinals definitely have respect for Houston, especially if you DON't look at the last couple years.  Same goes for Chicago and pretty much the rest of the NL.

SportsHutch
SportsHutch

Watching a pitcher go yard on the opposing pitcher is more exciting to me than watching Carlos Lee hit one out or watching him try to leg out a single (yes, I meant single). When a pitcher goes yard on another pitcher, that puts a little extra jump in the step of the guy who hit it and grinds at guy who knows he just allowed a .140 hitter to turn the number on the scoreboard against him.

reeseman
reeseman

I agree, watching pitchers hit sucks. Watching them bunt runners over, though, is not so bad. Watching pinch hitters hit can be interesting. Watching managers actually have to think is sometimes amusing, and sometimes amazing. Watching a DH won't make up for any of it.

Kejo
Kejo

FU Selig!  Nice try Seanny, you just put lipstick on a pig.  They call it the Jr. Circuit for a reason.You know why people who play chess don't play checkers?  Because it's lame in comparison.

With your theory there should be 9 hitters and separately 9 fielders, but that's not baseball now is it?  

And as a season ticket holder I want some of that $70 mill that Crane gets for switching, why should he keep it all when we are the ones getting screwed?  I'll wait for my check in the mail or welcome the announcement of half priced Dome Foams.....

Sean Pendergast
Sean Pendergast

All I said was pitchers should never hit because they suck at it. Not sure what "theory" I espoused that's anything close to having separate hitters and pitchers for all positions.

J
J

Maybe there should be an extra set of runners since no one wants to see a hitter that sucks on his feet.  The DH blows, but thats not the worst part of the deal.  Get rid of the DH and you still have the Astros out of their rival footprint and cannibalizing the Rangers with no hope of both teams making it to the WS.

big red
big red

Yeah, with the arrival of the American League comes the new experience in Houston of a fucking four hour baseball game. Who in the hell wants to sit through one of those? And I am sure that a Wednesday  9 pm start in Seattle will really draw the eyes, especially when it ends at 1 a.m.

Baseball really sells its traditional roots. In fact that is about all they sell. And then they pull this? Screw you Selig.

Sean Pendergast
Sean Pendergast

Actually, AL and NL games average out at almost exactly the same length of time, but keep preaching the myth. Say it long enough it may become true. 

Themarlinman
Themarlinman

I had heard that we had a baseball team but I am pretty sure that it was never a "Major League Team" but something more akin to the Houston Buffs. 

Cody
Cody

So the Rangers are the Astros new rival, but they own the Astros double A affiliate the Corpus Christi Hooks.   Am I the only one that sees a conflict there?

J
J

They will not own them for long.  As soon as possible Astros will lose the affiliation with the Nolan Ryan teams.  That is actually very bad for the Houston fan base.  No longer in Round Rock and soon to lose Corpus to the Rangers.  For decades the Rangers have barely had a base, not the Astros are damaging theirs- this could really be the beginning of the end for the Astros.

Rcoligan
Rcoligan

Don't like ANYONE in the american league.  not interested in watching games against the their new "rivals".  MLB can suck it

Me
Me

The B.U.S. is still open

Corey
Corey

World class rationalizations..  

Darrell Pittman
Darrell Pittman

You really don't know shit from Shinola.  You claim to be a baseball fan, but fail to realize that the American League doesn't play baseball.

Now Trending

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...