The Astros Are Heading to the Promised Land -- The American League!
As a major league sport, baseball has always done a fairly good job of keeping itself relevant throughout the calendar year. (Football is the king of year-round relevancy. Basketball is the court jester. Baseball lies somewhere in between.)
Say hello to Yankee Fan.
November is normally a fun baseball month because the awards for the season are handed down, but since the next Houston Astro to figure prominently in an individual award race is probably playing in junior high right now, we need to find other ways to consume baseball in these winter months.
Thankfully, we have today's Astro ownership change and league change to sink our teeth into.
By and large, I think Astro fans are all for the ownership change and against the league change. Unfortunately, you can't have one without the other. They are inextricably linked. If you date Kim Kardashian because you like her fruity booty, you still have to deal with her narcissism and the strong chance she may dump you at any minute for the backup point guard for the Rio Grande Valley Vipers.
It's the exact same thing. Really, it is.
Soooooo, with that in mind....can I get an AMEN?...No really, can I get an AMEN?....Okay, fine. Maybe for a lot of you, most of you, this move to the American League will take some getting used to, especially those of you who grew up here and have been used to Houston being a National League city for the last 50 years. I understand that change doesn't come easy, but I'm here to share a few facts with you about this move to the American League that in time you will come to learn and embrace as I have:
5. Watching pitchers hit sucks
It's like watching a kicker try to play quarterback or watching Andrew Shue try to recite Shakespeare. Actually, I stand corrected. THOSE things are actually trainwrecky fun to watch. Watching pitchers hit is like watching an eight-year-old in the FAST cage at the batting cages. Boring. Waste of time. Finally, I get to watch hitters hit and pitchers pitch right here where I live. And I can name at least ten "National League fan" friends of mine who just punched their computer screens reading this. Settle down, strategy dorks. Which brings me to....
4. You'll survive watching games without the edge-of-your-seat drama of the double switch.
Trust me, the game can still be fun without a ninth-inning lineup where the pitcher's spot is batting cleanup and some slappy outfielder is in the nine hole, and a second baseman changes over to third base in the middle of an inning so that the manager can slot a lefty against a lefty. Or whatever amalgamation of overthought moves you can string together. You'll still have fun. And if you're not having fun at the games, may I suggest beer?
3. The Yankees and the Red Sox will now come to Minute Maid at least once per season, and this is a good thing
Sure, this may mean that you get Yankee Fan and Sawx Fan for an extra weekend each season, but at least someone will be spending money downtown. Hell, if the Astros had realigned a couple years ago, maybe the B.U.S. wouldn't have closed. (Moment of silence....)
(NOTE: I had a few people point out to me that the B.U.S. is still open. Judging by the crowds there, you could have fooled me.)