Football! This Weekend's Best Bets

It's an SEC kinda week

​Time for another round of college and NFL friendly wagers.

Are my selection techniques the most textbook, orthodox methods in the world? No. I mean, if I hosted a handicapping show and gave out six games and chose those games because they gave me convenient fodder to talk about the season premieres of TV shows for the fall season, I doubt the show would last very long.

(The second part of my downfall would be my honesty in giving out my actual record on games selected, as opposed to fudging it with "smoke and mirrors" like the pockmarked greaseballs with their "free picks" lines.)

But sometimes it's about the little victories, and I'm feeling I'm on a little bit of a roll right now. Two 4-2 weeks in a row. Let's see if we can keep the profit coming in.

Serious SEC flavor in the college picks this week...

The "rumored SEC target"
Clemson -8 over MARYLAND
The SEC badly needs a 14th team. The math of a 13 team league is hard enough to figure out in academically stellar parts of the country, but in the SEC this has to pose a mathematical conundrum harder than all of Will Hunting's blackboard math problems combined. If Missouri chooses to stay in the Big 12 (which is the equivalent of spreading a beach towel on a bed of quicksand at this point), then Clemson is rumored to be the logical target (assuming South Carolina would allow it). In the meantime, the undefeated Tigers will have to remain content slapping around a bunch of basketball schools.

Texas Tech pisses off Richie Aprile

​The "soon to be SEC school"
Baylor/TEXAS A&M over 76
Texas A&M got a little Big 12 going-away present from the Texas Tech faithful last week when a few hooligans decided to smear feces and spray paint hateful epithets drop some fish bait inside of and smudge some shoe polish on the team buses. It'll be interesting to see if any other Big 12 towns decide to up the ante the rest of the way. I don't think they will. I think Texas Tech was trying to impress Texas, and in the process Texas was like "WTF, Red Raiders! WE didn't sanction that hit!" Kind of like when Season 2 of The Sopranos when Matt Bevalaqua and Sean Gismonte tried to whack Chrissy because they thought Richie Aprile wanted Chrissy dead and he would approve. Well, Richie didn't...

An SEC upset
MISSISSIPPI STATE +3 over South Carolina
This one comes down to simple dynamics:

-- Mississippi State is 0-3 in the SEC. They need this game.

-- Dan Mullen is 0 for forever against LSU, Alabama, Auburn, and Arkansas. South Carolina is none of those schools.

Also, the Gamecocks dismissed Stephen Garcia this week presumably for something involving alcohol (just playing the odds with that assumption), and he presumably washed away his pain with some alcohol (again...odds). If Hoosiers taught us anything it's that having a player or coach, past or current, with alcohol issues can only be a distraction. And while I hope Stephen Garcia gets his issues worked out, I do hope that he gives us a "Shooter stumbles onto the court and interrupts the game" moment before he does.

An SEC ass-kicking
LSU -17 over TENNESSEE
Coming into the season with a young team, the Tennessee Volunteers were hoping to make some noise and stay relevant in the SEC East. However, they lost their top playmaker, wide receiver Justin Harper, for the year early in the season and last week lost their quarterback Tyler Bray with a hand injury. So now they're laying 17 at home to the top team in the country. You know what that means? Yep, if LSU scores 20, you probably win your bet. I'm guessing they score 20. Twice.