Dustin "Young Spliff" Aleman: College Station Teen's Diabolical Criminal Scheme Foiled By Lunch Lady

World domination, one bogus dollar at a time

According to the Bryan-College Station Eagle, police say that 17-year-old Dustin Dominique Aleman gave a friend a stack of five one-dollar bills -- three of them real and two of them bogus -- and asked the friend to get change from the lunch lady.

That's right. This young criminal mastermind went to the trouble of forging one dollar bills. Soon enough, should all go according to plan, he would have magically transformed $3 into $5! Mwahahaha!

Nope. Lex Luthor he ain't.

Despite the fact that the kid is a rapper who goes by Young Spliff, he is evidently not much of a Devin the Dude fan, or he would have known to aim a little higher with his bogus green.

The friend offered to give Aleman a $5 bill from his own pocket, but Aleman, being a good buddy, told his friend, no, the change has to come from the lunch lady.

Evidently that lunch lady had been around the block a few times because she checked the dollar bills for authenticity. After marking them with a pen, she found that two of the bills flunked the test.

Police were summoned. Aleman was busted and is charged with state jail felony forgery of a financial instrument, punishable by two years hard time: one for each dollar he attempted to score from the cafeteria.

Here's Aleman as Young Spliff showcasing his oddly monotonal style on the mike.

We wonder how much of that fat stack he's flossing there is legit.