Pop Rocks: Don't Worry Longhorns, There Have Been Worse Beatdowns

Categories: NASA, Pop Rocks

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It was ugly, brutal and painful to watch. As a movie fan of some 40 years, I could be describing any number of lopsided fight scenes. But as a UT fan, I'm of course referring to the horrific pounding Oklahoma put on my Longhorns last Saturday.

The Sooners dominated every aspect of the game, trouncing a Texas team that maybe, possibly can see a silver lining in their relative youth (QB Case McCoy is a sophomore, QB David Ash and RB Malcolm Brown are freshmen). But there's no denying OU administered a good, old-fashioned hippie ass-whomping, as Chief Wiggum might have said.

Seeking solace in the two things that have given me solace in my darkest hours -- Jack Daniels and movie trivia -- I tried to frame my despair in such a way as to make the most sense to me. So here are several grotesque cinematic ass-kickings.

5. Donnie Yen Is A Metric Badass -- Ip Man (2008)
Take famed martial arts actor/choreographer Donnie Yen and cast him in the true story of Wing Chun master Yip Man, who was one of Bruce Lee's early teachers, and the awesomeness just sort of happens. As it does here, when Ip Man -- enraged at the execution of a fellow master by Japanese invaders -- takes on ten black belts at once. I have to play this in slow-mo just to see his hands move.


4. The Whole Movie -- Taken (2008)
It's impossible to narrow it down to one scene. And I admit, it's like a big-screen 24, but after Nazis and radical Muslims, Eurotrash are the new, hip villains. And Liam Neeson might just kill every single one of them.

Needless to say, if you haven't seen Taken yet, don't watch this clip.


3. Henry Teaches That 'Nice Boy' A Lesson -- Goodfellas (1990)
For all his other faults -- borderline intellect, serial infidelity, possible sociopathy -- Henry Hill knew how to send a message. I doubt the neighbors across the street ever sent any Hanukah cards to the Freidmans after that.

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10 comments
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MadMac
MadMac

Hands down, "American History X." Next closest, just about any scene in "Bronson." Oh, BTW, Batts in bar, car, shallow grave in "Goodfellas," is far scarier than the nice boy scene, just saying.

Pete Vonder Haar
Pete Vonder Haar

I tried to limit it to non-lethal beatings. Well, except the printer.

MadMac
MadMac

Ooooh, I get it. Once applied with a brick.

Early Cuyler
Early Cuyler

There is a straight-to-video movie that came out in 1989 called Crack House that has an epic fight scene in a high school bathroom between two gang members.  I believe the fight ends when one of the bangers rips the hand drier off the wall and brains the other one with it.

Early Cuyler
Early Cuyler

Never mind, just watched the fight scene on youtube, not at all how I remembered.  Seemed way better when I was 17.

MadMac
MadMac

EC, I think that's most things from when we're 17.

tvc15
tvc15

texas university fans got what they deserved. tea sips are among the most obnoxious – yet somehow uninformed – fans in the nation. they have taken bandwagoning to a cult status. idiots

and mack brown is a joke as a head coach. good recruiter, but otherwise might as well be a politician. here's to hoping you don't win another game this season. now go drown your sorrows at sawyer park and buy more crap at the co-op in uptown park.

Early Cuyler
Early Cuyler

Your really pissed that the Aggies have more losses than UT aren't you?  Get used to it when ya'll move into the SEC.  

tvc15
tvc15

uh, no... sorry to disappoint you, I'm not an Aggie

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