The 6 Ugliest Rich Churches in Houston

Categories: Spaced City

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Jesus, mad at the money-changers for building such an ugly church.
We do love our churchin' here in Houston. And our donatin', which allows churches to build massive, eye-catching temples.

And some of them turn out very ugly.

We're not talking about churches who don't have much money -- or who choose to spend what money they have on something other than architecture. We don't mean strip-mall storefronts or renovated old theaters.

No, we mean churches with congregations who have money to burn and have burned it unwisely.

Six of the worst in Houston. (Note: These involve only exterior views, so as to limit any chances of actual church attendance.):

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5. Co-Cathedral of the Sacred Heart
Oh, Catholic Diocese of Galveston-Houston: You used to have a perfectly charming church:
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Yeah, it was small, but it's not like church attendance in downtown Houston was threatening to overwhelm it.

At any rate, somehow you found the $49 million to build a new facility. And you got this modern bunker, hunkered down against the mean streets of downtown, about as welcoming as the county jail. At least you gave us Steroid Jesus in the limited amount of stained glass provided.


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5. Grace Community Church
Also known as The World's Biggest Walgreeen's. Drive-thru's around the back.


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4. La Luz del Mundo
Words fail. Even Spanish words.

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21 comments
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Jim C
Jim C

This article fails to be either clever or insightful. In fact, it seems like a pathetic ruse to take jabs at one particular religion. I suppose I'm stating the obvious though.If you want great architecture, go to Europe. 

liberty48
liberty48

St. Martin's?  Hunchback of Notre Dame?  "WHY AM I SO UGLY!??!"

Freddieflea
Freddieflea

No offense, y'all. I love Houston, but it has never, ever been known as an inspiring site for architecture. The new Co-Cathedral matches the architecture of the Galleria.

mirele
mirele

How was the monstrosity on Woodway (aka Second Baptist Church) left off this list?

Dsmith702
Dsmith702

Just remember, it is what is on the inside that is important.

some bruthas wear fake ones
some bruthas wear fake ones

I really don't have a problem with the overarching sentiment of this article, but I wonder why it was written in the first place?

And regardless of architecture, Lakewood and First Baptist were shoe-ins to be #1 and 2 on this list, simply out of spite.

tommy
tommy

I've always found La Luz del Mundo tacky and cool looking at the same time. I sorta, kinda like it.

Corey
Corey

What about Six Flags over Jesus aka Champions Forest Baptist, over a mile of space indoors?!?. Up there with the cult of lakewood for sheer stupidity.

Elizabeth Bair
Elizabeth Bair

Everybody knows Second Baptist on Woodway holds the official title of Six Flags over Jesus. How come that ugly thing isn't on this list? 

BigLou
BigLou

How about a companion list of the 5 church buildings that are easy on the eye? Villa de Matel, Rothko, Chapel of St. Basil at U of St Thomas, etc?

BLiger97
BLiger97

Christ the Redeemer Catholic Church out in Cypress echos Sacred Heart. It was a small, mission-style church that looks like an adobe Taco Bell to drivers-by on Huffmeister. That unique character was replaced/added onto with a modern, unstriking, generic church (without Fabio Jesus).

Shawn Coons
Shawn Coons

I think there are two lessons to be learned here.

1)  What seems marvelous to people in the church may make an entirely different impression on those outside the church.

2) It's easier to be insulting then clever or funny.

Wyatt
Wyatt

1. Congratulations on discovering subjectivity.

2. True. It's also easier to act like a haughty, defensive stick in the mud than it is to use then/than correctly.

R. E. Davis
R. E. Davis

Ah, another smug Xian, another boring lesson we must learn. Always with the lessons.

How about two from the other side?1) What seems less than funny to the uptight and miserable may be construed as chuckle inducing to those who actually enjoy life.2) It's easier to smile and laugh when one doesn't have a stick rammed up one's ass.

H_e_x
H_e_x

I thought it was funny. I think a few other people did as well. Don't be so uptight, Jesus didn't care about churches. How do I know? Because it's never written that he did. If anything, he hated money grubbing churches.

MadMac
MadMac

You mean the Catholic Charismatic (Cult) Center (Compound) didn't make the list? I went there once as a guest and quickly went back to my little 3rd Ward Chappel.

7Valerie7
7Valerie7

We call it Fabio Jesus, and he's especially spectacular at night!

simple churches are best
simple churches are best

Couldn't agree more....we used to drive by St. Martin's just to look for the hunchback that must be hiding in the tower.

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