And Now, the Least Anticipated Movies of Fall/Winter 2011
The fall/winter movie season kicked off last weekend as Contagion dominated the box office (the highly touted Warrior, not so much). I've already covered, in some depth, those releases coming up in the remainder of 2011 that might merit a closer look. We learned a couple things from this. The first is that Ryan Gosling and his abs will be all over the silver screen this fall.
The second is that yours truly has an unhealthy fascination with topless women getting eaten by carnivorous fish.
But that's only part of the story. For every Clooney politi-thriller or Cronenberg psychosexual period piece has an evil counterpart; a yin to its yang, a Cain to its Abel, a...Rizzoli to its Isles.
So without further ado, here are the
ten 11 least anticipated movies for the rest of the year. Whether you want to admit it or not.
I Don't Know How She Does It
Release Date: September 16
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Kelsey Grammer
Plot: Kate (Parker) is an executive who supports her husband and two kids, but a new account brings temptation in the form of a debonair business associate (Brosnan).
The title of this movie doesn't make any sense. We don't know how she does...what? Contemplates an affair with a job and two kids? Breaks down the 4th wall? Continues to get romantic leading roles when SATC2 bombed and she has the complexion of one of her designer bags? Help a guy out, here.
Release Date: September 23
Starring: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina
Plot: Young Nathan (Lautner) attempts to uncover the conspiracy surrounding his childhood, presumably doesn't turn into a werewolf.
Which is a shame, because it looks like this movie could really use several large, slavering lycanthropes.
Release Date: October 7
Starring: Hugh Jackman, robots
Plot: A former boxer (Jackman) trains a scrappy robot to...Christ, I can't believe I'm typing this.
They couldn't just call this Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie, because -- no shit -- that movie was actually in development until recently. Fortunately we have Battleship to look forward to.
Release Date: October 14
Starring: Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid
Plot: City kid Ren (sans Stimpy, as far as I can tell) moves to a city where rock music and dancing have been banned, and proceeds to destroy this peaceful, happy community.
Has your anti-remake outrage meter pegged yet? I'm saving my energy for the Point Break "reimagining", myself.