How to Celebrate the Day of Debauchery & Gluttony (Plus: Oh Noes! TexasSparkle Doesn't Like Us!)

The-Response080411.jpg
In case you can't make it....
The Houston Chronicle's TexasSparkle, perhaps the nation's most insightful and trenchant right-wing blogger, or perhaps not, takes us to task today for daring to be "hypocritical" about Rick Perry's Prayerapalooza.

Her compelling argument: President Obama talks about his faith and we don't make fun of it.

She's absolutely correct, of course, and there is NO difference between a) a politician talking about his faith at times, and b) going into full huckster mode with splashy publicity moves like inviting every governor in the nation to attend (what was supposed to be) a massive gathering of 70,000 hardcores who hate gays and Muslims.

The last thing in the world we want to do is get into a debate with the illustrious TexasSparkle, so instead we offer our tips on how to celebrate the Day of Debauchery & Gluttony that is being (barely) organized on Facebook.

"Organized" is probably too active a verb, of course. But still, the idea is to have your own version of Perry's event on Saturday.

Five ways to do it:

1. Sleep late
If you grew up religious or even semi-religious, there weren't many things worse than having to get up on Sunday to go to church. (Catholics solved this problem somewhat with the 5 o'clock Mass on Saturday evenings.) There's still a residual feeling of decadence in sleeping through what should be your time in the pew.

2. Go gay, if only for the day
Yeah, this might be tough. But suck it up. (or, if you're female, lick it up.) There's nothing Rick Perry's pals at The Response hate more than heathen homos having fun together, so you have to do it just to piss them off. If you're bi-curious, this is your big chance!! "Rick Perry made me do it!!!" (Okay, okay: In lieu of gay sex, a threesome may be substituted. At least one of you will keep your straight card.)

3. You are free from your diet!
It's not just the chance to go down on your own gender that Perry is providing. To let America know that right-wing religious zealots are not mainstream, it is incumbent on you to give up your diet for one day. "Gluttony" is part of the day's name, after all. So start with some breakfast eclairs, eggs, bacon and waffles and then catch up on every sweet and starch you've been missing. It's for your country!

4. Ladies: Lead someone into temptation
Go to the pre-event tailgating at The Response. (We hear it's going to be off the charts.) Find an upstanding, uptight dude furiously looking around for any gays or non-Christians to hate. Flash him some cleavage, take him someplace private and make him forget he ever heard the word Jesus. (And yeah, you gay guys can do your part with the closet cases in attendance. Think of it: Getting your johnson hoovered by some Perry supporter in the parking lot of The Response. It's a story you can tell your grandkids.)

5. Pray
Specifically, to God or Jesus. You might not believe He exists, but just go all "what the hell" on it and take a shot. Ask Him to let the haters at The Response know that they don't speak for Him. Failing that, talk to Buddha and make sure the Bad Karma bureaucracy is up to speed on The Response.


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Reliant Stadium

2 Reliant Park, Houston, TX

Category: General

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43 comments
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HC
HC

Being (in)famous on the Houston Press' blog feature is about 10 steps below YouTube infamy.  I don't even know why the Houston Press wasted the bandwidth and energy spent into talking shit about a person who has the screen name of a flamboyant transvestite or self-righteous soccer mom.  I don't know why I even typed this out, because right now I could be picking my nose or having crazed sex with said flamboyant transvestite.

Staci
Staci

Radical Eats restaurant is celebrating by donating a portion of it's daily sales to the ACLU!  That's Radicaleats.com

nakedlens
nakedlens

Thanks Staci! That's exactly the sort of thing I love to hear, I'll mention it on the page.

'stina
'stina

Glitterbombing was much more interesting. 

Steve Gilbert
Steve Gilbert

Ladies....I hereby volunteer for #4.  But...I will be with the crowd protesting this event outside the gates of Reliant, not with the crowd participating in it.  See you there!

H_e_x
H_e_x

"I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I want to feel his salvation all on my face!"

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

I never said I didn't like you! Let's meet for drinks. I think we would love each other. Let's talk wine, cigars, and traveling though. No politics..;-)  You might want to read one more post of mine: http://blog.chron.com/texasspa...  

JohnO
JohnO

It's too bad a real Day of Debauchery& Gluttony wasn't being held somewhere; it would have been hilarious to see attendance to that event outpace the Prayerapalooza...

nakedlens
nakedlens

I think there were plans for at least one in Houston, I know there are parties in Dallas & Kansas City.

You can always set one up and spread the word.

http://dayofdebauchery.com

guest
guest

I used to think there was nothing sadder than a fat, aging, empty-headed, bleach blonde -  way past her prime - still trying to get by on her looks alone. I was mistaken.

Sadder still, is when that fat, aging, empty-headed, bleach blonde is trying to get by on her looks AND her "brains."

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

How am I getting by on my looks if I'm aging and fat? Hmmm... 

H_e_x
H_e_x

Out of all the replies, this is the one that you respond to? Sexism is wrong in any context, but you do realize other people here are making decent arguments that you ignore.

guest
guest

Be specific: You insist on civility directed at you, and those who share your views.You cherry pick comments to run, which are often deranged bile spewing rants. So long as the bile is directed at "The Libtards" it qualifies as civil speech in your book.

Conversely, if comparatively mild criticism by commenters is directed at The Right, or pointing out your basic lack of understanding of the topic you're talking about, you won't allow it to be posted.

but hey, keep playing the victim. It's really original.

wilf
wilf

Clicking on your blog, Sparkless, is like wiping sans toilet paper during a week long camp-out in a malarial swamp. Repugnant and pathogenic waste of time.

GWEST
GWEST

YOUR MOMMA likes the back and forth done in a civilized manner!!!

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

You are free to criticize Perry. I'd fight for your right to do that. Goodness knows the Houston Press does that all the time. Just to be clear, I'm not comfortable with this rally either, but that's not the point of my post. Go ahead and click over. I think you will like the back and forth (done in a civil manner). The clicks go the Houston Chron you know.  

H_e_x
H_e_x

I would rather not give your blog the clicks. Why can't we ever criticize Perry? Why? He ain't Jesus, you know. I always thought Jesus said that overt acts of faith were wrong.

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

I think you can find the answer to those arguments in my comments in the commenter's section of my blog post. Feel free to debate me! I do insist on civility though. 

guest
guest

"...trying..." "...trying..."Read for comprehension.

eudemonist
eudemonist

Just read some of her blog posts.  Only skimmed through about three, but didn't see anything like you describe. 

Citation?  Link?

Guest
Guest

Are you claiming that you're an paid employee of the Chronicle?

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

Please don't put "quotes" up of something I've never written or said. Referring to Democrats I've never said "poisoning America." I've never said "stupidity." I've Never said "baby killing." Never said "drank the liberal koolaid." In fact I have said many times that Democrats genuinely want what is best for America, we just have different views on what that is. Perhaps it would help if you read my blog.  

MadMac
MadMac

Said Kathleen McKinley, Only Kills Liberals...

Read your own tag, Captain Obvious. This is the same irresponsibilty you displayed with that peashooter of yours. The weak-minded and the child-like read your nonsense and take it seriously. Then if they shoot somebody not even in the debate, (like, oh, I don't know, a US Congressman, maybe?) you and the other fear mongers want to hide your hands and plead civility.

Thenonymous
Thenonymous

Don't be dishonest, Kathleen. You demonize people. It's not enough that someone might not share your views on a subject. With you it's always "The Left" and "Liberals" or "Democrats" that are "poisoning America" with their "lies" and "stupidity" and their "love of baby killing" and "socialism" because they "drank the liberal Kool Aid". it's mean-spirited, and for some reason its usually presented from the point of view of someone of relative social privilege making false claims as to being oppressed.

Don't you think it's possible, even likely, that they're not out to get you. Consider that its possible that the vast majority of liberals and/or Democrats genuinely want what's best for America and their fellow man? Moreover, that they've given serious consideration to what they believe is fundamentally right, and why they believe it?

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

Please give me an example of my being hateful. I am not. I never call names. I never say they are "idiots" or "fat and aging." I try to be as civil as I expect others to be. That can be done you know. We can disagree without making it personal. We can debate without being hateful.  

Abortion Only Kills Liberals.
Abortion Only Kills Liberals.

You say disagreement doesn't have to be hateful. I agree.Why are you so hateful to anyone who might dare disagree with you in your blog posts? 

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

But if I were trying and not succeeding, then I wouldn't be writing for the Chron. As an aside, I never said I didn't like Richard! I'm sure I would. We can meet for drinks and talk wine, cigars, and traveling, just no politics! ..;-) Disagreement doesn't mean we have to be hateful to one another. This isn't personal. I'm sure Richard is a great person. We just see things differently. I have tons of friends who don't agree with me. 

Guest
Guest

Yawn...TexasSparkle's blog writings are as predictable as the weather we have been getting here in H-Town.Rightwingers always right, progressives always wrong. What a bore. 

Stay Strong, Sprinkle!
Stay Strong, Sprinkle!

Aw, don't be mean to Texas Sprinkle. Give some credit where credit's due.

It's not like she's ever had a thought of her own. You should be mean to whomever's thoughts she decided to mindlessly parrot, or plagiarize, in her blog that day. It's not her fault she's never bothered to fact-check a single item that reinforced her own predjudices.

Hill
Hill

Reading the comments texassparkles blog post and her replies to them is something to behold. Like watching a cat chase a laser pointer.

Editor
Editor

You mean the one out of ten that she posts?

Hill
Hill

A reply from Mrs Sparkles, when it was pointed out that Perry's Prayer-A-Palooza is nothing but a PR stunt for his presidential bid.

"First of all, this event was planned long before Perry was even considering running for the President.-TexasSparkle

Does she realize that her lies make baby Jesus cry?

'stina
'stina

Why reading beyond the headline is sometimes critical: Knowing absolutely nothing else about them, I assumed that a name like TexasSparkle could only belong to a glitter-bombing organization.  I figured they were pissed because of some "no glitter" rule imposed at Reliant due to ya'll giving the Perry folk the heads up that they might be assaulted with the herpes of arts and crafts world.  

How wrong I was.

MadMac
MadMac

"The last thing in the world we want to do is get into a debate with the illustrious TexasSparkle."

Yeah, remember her proud gun-ownership stand? The woman is irresponsible in her writing/logic as she is in her gun retention. Disclosure: I'm a gun nut. Rant: I see a photo of one of these (right) wingnuts pointing their pistol/shotgun/rifle at the camera and I cringe.  

And I give no credence to anything else they may type. So all together, lets sing Martin Mull's "Men, Men, Men, Men..."

Gaspar Ramsey
Gaspar Ramsey

There's really a blogger called "Texas Sprinkles"?

Geezy
Geezy

Awesome. Yes, I do remember that post. I think the only thing I've ever seen to top that was a reply back to one of her "sheeple" as they like to say was in regards to Sarah Palin running for President. Her response went something like "No, we are not worthy of Sarah Palin being president, she's too good for us". Comedy gold.

Kathleen McKinley
Kathleen McKinley

Yes, we wouldn't want to put cameras in danger.

MadMac
MadMac

Or encourage other poorly trained individuals to point a weapon at someone they (hypothetically) don't intend to shoot. It's very difficult to defend gun ownership in the face of pointed examples of irresponsibility and/or incompetence.

eudemonist
eudemonist

Haven't seen this picture.  Are we certain there's a person holding this camera? 

Link?

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