Robert Keith Logan: Bible-Toting, Cadillac-Driving East Texas Meth Dealer (Allegedly)

Robert Logan: Meth and a Bible.

"Sometimes people don't look the way you think they would look if they're selling dope," Titus County Sheriff Tim Ingram told the Mount Pleasant Daily Tribune. "This man pulled up, clean-cut, well-dressed, driving a $40,000 Cadillac and had a Bible in the car and then sold our undercover deputy seven grams of methamphetamines."

Indeed, the 40-year-old Logan looks less like an "Uncle Teardrop"-style meth dealer than he does the offensive line coach of some 2A district champs high school football team. And he was apparently unaccustomed to the sort of intense police attention he attracted after he was lured into making the alleged drug deal in the hamlet of Cookville around noon on Monday.

"My deputies moved so fast Logan didn't know what hit him," said Ingram. "He was so scared that all he could do was stutter. He couldn't even form words."

Eventually, he was able to communicate, and what he had to say surprised the deputies at the Titus County Jail.

"He told me he wanted to be processed as soon as possible so that he could get to Bible class," said Brent Smith, a lieutenant in the Titus County Sheriff's Office.

After his arrest, authorities in nearby Morris County raided Logan's home in the town of Naples. According to KLTV, the raid uncovered "huge amounts of cash, more meth and clever transportation containers such as [a] can of WD-40 with a false bottom."

Though he was unemployed, and thus unable to explain the provenance of his flashy Caddy, Logan's friends and family are said to be even more stunned than the police at Logan's lucrative secret sideline. "He was very good at keeping this under the radar, keeping a good front. He's putting quite a bit of poison on the street," Ingram told the TV station.

Logan is charged with a first-degree felony in relation to the meth deal in Cookville, and the raid on his home in Naples netted cops with a second-degree felony charge. The first-degree felony charge could net him five to 99 years in prison.

"If you've got a Bible in the car and you're sellin' dope -- it just don't go together," Ingram said.

We're betting the East Texas jury will agree, but well, why not? Where in the Bible does it specifically say, "Thou shalt not peddle meth"?

(Just kidding.)