Never Bring Oatmeal to a Gunfight, Man Learns

Categories: Texas

quakeroatsfgb.jpg
He would prefer friendly persuasion.
It's Go Time. You and some other dude have been driving side by side, cursing the other, and now you've pulled over to settle things.

Other dude gets out with a gun. You reach for...a bowl of oatmeal?

Consider yourself outclassed, son.

The epic oatmeal vs. pistol showdown happened on a Texas City highway Monday, and a grand jury will decide whether any charges will come of it, the Galveston County Daily News reports.

Police say the one driver did have a concealed-carry license for the gun; it is not known whether the other had the necessary paperwork for the oatmeal.

Here's how it began, according to News:

A 49-year-old man and his wife were driving northbound on state Highway 146 in their red Mercedes, while their 20-year-old daughter followed in a black Mercedes, according to police reports.

The father reported looking in his rearview mirror and noticing a man in a white Chevy pickup too close to his daughter's car.

The father told police he saw the truck driver flailing his arms in an "agitated state," [Texas City PD] Capt. Brian Goetschius said.

The two Mercedes pulled over, and the 49-year-old man decided to give chase, because....well, we're not sure there's a good reason why.

At any rate, he caught up to the truck and there was "some swerving between the two vehicles" and cussing, Goetschius said.

And then: Cue the Ennio Morricone.

The driver of the truck got out first and had a bowl of oatmeal in his hand, according to police records.

The driver of the Mercedes grabbed his pistol and confronted the driver of the truck.

"Fearing for his safety, (the driver of the truck) tossed his bowl of oatmeal at (the man with the gun) to distract him and get away," said Goetschius, reading from the police reports.

The face-off: A man who allegedly drives angrily and unsafely, all the while eating a bowl of oatmeal. A man who instead of letting assholes drive on and be assholes, gives chase, cusses, pulls over and takes out a pistol.

For better or worse -- and we'd say "better," if only because we doubt the one guy had any more oatmeal to throw -- the showdown came to an abrupt end when a constable pulled up.

The gun owner was arrested but released without being charged.

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15 comments
kuei_licks_my_brown_balls
kuei_licks_my_brown_balls

Some idiots shouldn't be packin'; don't pull out your gun unless you are ready to use it. The trucker might have been an asshole but he don't deserve to get shot for that. And the Mercedes driver shouldn't have chased him. Good thing this road rage incident didn't end bad. Once again, a life was saved by a bowl of oatmeal.

roy1531
roy1531

Fuck you Joe and you KNOW FUCK YOU KUIE!

Joe
Joe

Pssh  Texas sucks 

Kuei
Kuei

What dos the 20 year old daughter look like?

Batsu
Batsu

Two morons, and not a decent breakfast between the pair...

Richard Doll
Richard Doll

Not sure anyone was right here, but boy, I love living in Texas.  News of the weird happens all over this fair city!  Have to hand it to you Mr. Connelly, well written blog.  I suspect it's not too terribly difficult to find humor in a standoff between a man armed with a bowl of oatmeal and one with gun, but I have to say I enjoyed your presentation of the facts, very humorous story.

Bad Habit
Bad Habit

Sometimes you just have to give a fool a driving lesson.

Enough
Enough

So does your Mother.

Kuei
Kuei

I concur. I live there for 2 years. The best thing about Texas were the Mexican woman. The second best were the fire ants. And, I hated the fire ants.

Collinitzki
Collinitzki

She's American, you wouldn't like her

Jake_V
Jake_V

you sir, have nailed it.

Sihaya
Sihaya

I assume you mean that sometimes you have to match someone's foolishness with your own, because that's essentially what the guy in the Mercedes did. 

Kuei
Kuei

Liking someone, and fucking them are 2 ENTIRELY different things to men.

roy1531
roy1531

And we all know you like to fuck men Kuie.

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