Have a KKK Memorial Day

Come one, come (not really) all.

​If your white-power group is having trouble finding cool Memorial Day rallies where you can wave the stars 'n stripes 'n swastikas, then we suggest you check out reputable racist-friendly Web site Stormfront.org for cool holiday ideas. We especially recommend that any Texas KKK chapters (or "klaverns," as they're technically known) join the Virginia-based Knights of the Southern Cross Soldiers of the Ku Klux Klan's rally near Arlington National Cemetery.

Imperial Wizard Brother Dennis is asking all his sheet-wearing brethren to bring their state flags and wave them in honor of soldiers who sacrificed their lives for this country, especially the soldiers who sacrificed for that other country, the Confederate States of America. (The Wiz points out that he, unlike the "foreign born" Obama, is a veteran, and the oath he swore then means just as much to him as the oath he took when he earned the official right to poke holes in a pillowcase and slip it over his head.)

The rally will include musical entertainment by someone/thing called Orion, as well as what will surely be a heartfelt cross-lighting ceremony at dusk. But remember, it's "family friendly. No alcohol, no drugs!!" (No pets, either). If you hurry, you can still probably get there in time. And feel free to stay there as long as you want!

But in addition to no drugs and alcohol, here are some other rules:

DO stop the liberal agenda
DON'T apologize for being white
DO stand up for your Second Amendment rights
DON'T stand by while the Fool-in-Chief and his racist wife destroy the country
DO go to work every day
DON'T sit on your welfare ass and breed for the sole purpose of having the rest of America support you

Follow those rules, and it's sure to be one KLAN-tastic Memorial Day!