Eric Allison: Alleged Child Molester Fished Dirty Diapers Out of Family-Restaurant Dumpsters

These are TOO CLEAN, damnit.

"Hi everyone. My name is Eric, and I (allegedly) fish dirty diapers out of trash bins at popular family entertainment establishments and wear them. For my own personal enjoyment."

Allison also allegedly sexually assaulted a child and was in possession of child pornography. He'll go to trial May 2 to face down a total of 24 counts of molestation and porn possession. In the meantime, he's being held in jail without bond, thanks to an egregious violation of his pre-trial conditions.

Sheriff's deputies in Corpus Christi arrested Allison earlier this month for violating an order to stay at least 1,000 feet away from playgrounds, schools, churches or anywhere else kids may congregate, KZTV reported. On March 22, he was seen at a Little League field, which is kind of like a drunk driver who's been ordered to stay away from bars getting busted stumbling down Bourbon Street.

But back to the diapers. Here are the final two sentences from the KZTV story:

"Investigators say Allison had child pornography on his computer and a collection of dirty diapers. He's accused of collecting them from Dumpsters outside Chuck-E-Cheese's and other family restaurants, then wearing for his own personal enjoyment."

This raises the question of whether there could be a reason beyond personal enjoyment that someone would indulge in such a rarefied fetish. And how does a grown man fit into diapers designed to fit a much smaller body? If the diapers actually fit, must the jury acquit?

And for the icing on this shitty cake: Before his arrest, Allison was allegedly hanging out with two young girls, who the DA's office says are the granddaughters of Allison's girlfriend.

Yes, Allison has a girlfriend. Who is a grandmother. Who lets her granddaughters spend time with a man who, if the allegations are true, would probably like nothing more than to wear their soiled diapers, among much more heinous things.

You've got a couple of hall of famers on your hands here, Corpus.