More Semen Means Less Depression for Women, Surgeon Writes

Categories: Whatever

semen041211.jpg
Help a woman out.....
Want to make a woman less depressed? Pump some semen into her. Apparently any orifice will do.

Of course, that means having unprotected sex, so the above advice, given in a recent issue of Surgery News, the journal of the American College of Surgeons, is causing some problems.

The magazine has retracted the article containing it and is re-writing it, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education.

Dr. Lazar Greenfield, a professor emeritus in the department of surgery at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, had written a Valentine's Day column noting studies about the effect semen has on women (besides the obvious occasional one).

He wrote:

Female college students having unprotected sex were significantly less depressed than were those whose partners used condoms. ... The benefits of semen contact also were seen in fewer suicide attempts and better performance on cognition tests.

The punch line? "So there's a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there's a better gift for that day than chocolates."

Funny!! Except for the part where it seems to be encouraging female college students to have lots of unprotected sex, and all.

Greenfield had been president-elect of the College of Surgeons; that is "under review," but he has resigned as editor of the organization's publication.

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cali
cali

Oh come on. This was obviously partly tongue in cheek. And honestly, do you think that "Surgery News" has a large following of college-age women to influence? It's too bad that no one has a sense of humor and this poor man lost his job.

Dude!!!
Dude!!!

What did I say about shoddy methodology in my previous comment? This is an exercise in correlation =/= causation.

Yahoo
Yahoo

There is nothing remotely offensive or "wacky" in that article. He uses recent studies to ponder as to whether or not semen has an impact on mood. He does this in the context of Valentine's Day, providing perhaps an interesting biological basis for the joys of love. Of course those without imagination fail to realize two simple points. 1.) If we can isolate the process, we could create medicines that might be more effective (by mimicking natural processes) for treating depression. 2.) If we understand this process, we may be able to discover similar processes that occur in same sex couples - thereby enhancing our understanding of the wonders of being human. The whole reaction to this is the kind of Neo-Victorianism that has become the hallmark of postmillennial American idiocy. Obsession with all things sex, combined with notion that sexuality is something that must defined individually and subjectively (and any attempt to understand it objectively is therefore offensive) has now become so pervasive that it is inhibiting scientific inquiry. sigh.

Dr. RP
Dr. RP

You're joking, right? If you read it, the piece is not about "real science" at all, which any person in the medical field would recognize just from looking at it. It was basically an excuse to ponder human relationships and bring a scientific "feel" to a column that's ultimately about intercourse. However, beyond endorsing unprotected receptive sex for college students (which is pretty bad), in his punch line he's essentially suggesting that the readership of Surgery News is male. Furthermore, that musings such as making a gift of your semen rather than chocolates for Valentine's day are fit to print in a professional publication. It's 2011, and surgery is no longer a boy's club. It's locker room talk, kinda funny in a way... but I'm not a neo-Victorian, I just recognize sexism when I see it.

Asdf
Asdf

People having sex with condoms are not likely taking birth control pills.

People having sex without condoms are likely taking birth control pills.

Therefore, taking birth control pills lowers depression, especially for pharmaceutical CEOs.

Bevoer
Bevoer

I think the study is bunk but I will say, my wife and I began using protection because she didn't like how the various pills made her feel...and we've gone from never having the TV on and always interacting after work, to sitting on our couches with our laptops on our laps watching TV all the time. Maybe what they meant to say is that injecting semen into your mate can help keep a man less depressed :)

Brittanie Shey
Brittanie Shey

What a bunk study. Was there no evidence considered that maybe people who have unprotected sex do so because they're in a committed relationship, and it's the commitment, not the jizz, that elevates moods. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

just sayin
just sayin

Um, you should actually probably review the study before you call it bunk. You can probably find it on pubmed.

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