Longhorns Tumble in Playboy Party-School Rankings
Sure, they sometimes (read: very rarely) come out on top -- Vince Young can lead them to a BCS title, Playboy can name them top party school in 2010 -- but mostly it's a series of disappointing finishes.
Such is the case again this year, as UT drops dramatically in the Playboy rankings, falling from the top spot all the way down to fifth.
And yet this calamity is not worthy of being addressed as emergency legislation in Austin? It's not more important than pointless resolutions about balanced federal budgets? This is why we're failing as a party state, people.
It's no use arguing with the rankings, because we're sure Playboy invests tens of thousands of man-hours developing rigorous criteria and applying them with manic precision.
So settle for it, Longhorns: You no longer rule.
That honor goes to what Playboy calls in a press release "The University of Colorado at Boulder," which we assume is Colorado University (at Boulder, though; we'll give Playboy that).
Rounding out the top five: Penn State, Arizona State and, ummm, the University of Western Ontario.